all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

On Suffering.....


a word I am very familiar with...
an action I have felt more times than I care to count
something that the religion I was brought up in
a feeling I came to believe I needed
and that without it
I was not moving ahead
that it was only in the suffering
that I would find the healing.

It is now in my mid life
that I no longer believe this to be true
It is not that there is no suffering
or challenge in my life
there is
It is what I signed up for
when I decided to "do"this human life.

This life does hold 
There are those things
beyond my control
that season my life with
these things
no longer do I seek suffering out
no longer do I feel that I need to suffer
no longer do I believe that it is only through suffering
that I will find my healing

There is Gain with out Pain.

There is Grace without Death.

There is Love without Heartbreak.

I have come to a place in my soul journey
where I see that refinement will come to me
on it's own,
I just need to be present.
As long as I am engaging in my journey
playing an active part
Spirit will bring me what I need
and in all ways.
There has been times when I have experienced
deep healing
and life changing letting go
in dream time.
Have gone to sleep feeling one way
and woken up free of that feeling. 
I have felt The Healers hands touch the broken parts of me
transforming them slowly and methodically
while I do nothing...
while I

I don't have to throw myself into the pit of disppair
to "prove" my willingness
I do have to love myself
I don't have to carry guilt around 
like a flag
I do have to carry myself
as the Sacred Alter that I am.

I don't have to carry the brick of shame
heavy on my back
in order to keep me hunched over
close to the earth
instead my guardian angel
would sooner have me
fly with her in the heavens
singing Divinities praises
and when she brings me back to earth
she has me stand tall
heart open
eyes lifted
Proud of who I am
in The Spirit

Lessons come
it is the way of this life
 Freedom Is
that is the Truth of this Life

I am already Free
no need to suffer
no need to stumble around in the dark
because the lantern
is in my hand.
This topic of Suffering
came up recently in my online intensive bootcamp
a place to strengthen and recognize
our own Sacred Voice.  
 Here are some words
about suffering
 from two of my wise, inspiring sisters:
Rose D. wrote:

"When I journeyed with Raven to the Light at first we just sat on the ground looking at each other. Nothing happened. I said (in my non-verbal journey way) something to the effect of "C'mon already." Raven walked over to me and pecked at my chest right between my heart and throat. I looked down to see an orb of light there. Raven let me know to take it out of my body. Suddenly, there were other people around us and I knew I was to give this light to as many people as wanted it. Some received the light, others turned away. I watched as the light I shared was shared again and again. Finally I left the ground and rose high above the earth. From there I saw the light spreading all over the globe. Bright, healing white light. From me. Or through me, rather.
My messages from Raven have all been so affirming. I am learning that soul work does not always have to be dark and painful. This is hard medicine for me to accept. I am accustomed to struggle. I am used to feeling like I need to be fixed or improved or healed in some way before my life can begin. Raven says enough of that. And so I have this tattoo now as a reminder of the light Raven revealed to me. From my heart, rising to my throat. I'm ready to live."

Me:this struggle that you speak of, oh do I know it well and that too came up for me while walking and talking with a child I decided that struggle was part of my life, that in order to get anywhere there would be pain and suffering...not so, not so at all....not to say things aren't a challenge and that there is not suffering or pain in this world, because there is...but to know that i have a choice to not seek suffering out in order to feel I am "doing something" healing something, shifting something...some of my deepest healings have come during the night as I sleep...and I have done nothing...only is wonderful and so freeing to know that that time has passed and no longer does that have to be our way....Love and Light Lovely xox

Rose:YES!! My thought has been that if it doesn't hurt, I'm not doing it right. I resisted the medicine in my journey, thinking I was somehow taking the easy way out or some such nonsense. Everything in the universe is pushing me out of the shadows. The same message everywhere. It cannot be denied anymore. To do so would be a harmful self-indulgence. I'm frankly terrified at what comes next. But there's no going back now. I've got Raven cawing at my throat;)

Me:Exactly Rose! I have so felt these same things...if there is no pain, I am taking the easy way pain no gain bullshit! Everything has to be makes me laugh actually now, so silly because when I put that in the context of my children is that what I would tell them??? No way! I came to find that indeed the shadow and I have been stitched together, but not in the way I thought...I found out I was Owl...The Light Bringer, not afraid of the dark, not afraid to expose the "demons" that lurk around in the dark igniting fear in those who encounter them....that is the relationship between shadow and me...not that I am to dwell there, but that I am skilled there....Yes! no going back sister...I beautiful marking to remind you of that truth!

Rose:Ooh, that resonates deeply with me. Skilled in the shadows, but not meant to dwell there. Yes! 

Toi Lynn shared these words:
"No pain no gain... A myth created by someone who loved to watch others struggle. The "meat hook" of life is painful enough. Suffering is optional. Mine has been a sweet easy journey this time. Peaceful. I kept checking in..... Am I avoiding? Am I staying on the outside? No. I know the answer is No. My empowered answer is No to hard work at this time and Yes to flow and ease and Being.
I just went through several years of Kali transformation .... Burn, baby, Burn! That was my motto for 2013. Chaos and loss and rapid change, hilarity and WTFs ensued.
Just 3 weeks ago I landed here, home, finally home. Hard work to get here - here is Kauai, on the ocean, north shore. Mama ocean with me constantly. Speaking, Teaching me so many things already. I'm crying when I write this. So that is my truth. What a relief to feel that I am home now. I'm home and can rest and have ease and peace and deepen my creativity and get back my health. I'll take it as long as I can get it, thus time of light. Because that is life. Not a peaceful pool but waves, up and down.
BTW, my final journey with Raven. I found myself running in a field of grass, wearing a leopard wrap. Next to a leopard. Laughing. She ran with me towards the sacred Twin Rocks (Raven called it Two Sisters... interesting) in Navajo country. When I entered a cavern, leopard bowed out and Raven flew up and snipped my leopard wrap off. Laughing right along with me. Always wants me to be comfortable naked and to be seen as I really am. Two other ravens dropped a kimono on me of soft black velvet and silk with effervescent colors. Not vibrant. But subtle. I thought.... It's like me. I am a softer sort of leader, doing my work as I am, not trying to be anyone else. I'm not a peacock or Phoenix in appearance or style. And that is ok. Enough. I am Enough. I Am. I walked to nearby fire and sat as it got dark. Ravens sat with me in quietness. Just enjoyed the peaceful fire and the quiet. Absolute Stillness. Watching. Breathing. Being."

These sisters words resonate deeply with me
along side my own.
Suffering is no longer what I seek...

I seek spiritual enlightenment
I seek heart joy and soul living
I seek the treasures of the Spirit
I seek the peace that passes all understanding
I seek my Self
Love and Light



  1. i totally agree with your words.
    and i totally love you.


  2. Beautiful insight and journeys shared.

  3. Beautiful wisdom, Cat. Just loving watching you on your journey. Love you!

    1. and you too my wise sister....
      we are in this together

      love and light

  4. "Seek and ye shall find" Mathew 7:7

    "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over ..." Luke 6:38

    Dance in the *light* of your own shadow soul-sister!

    1. as always
      you give with your heart Hope

      thank you
      love and light

  5. I love your wild journeys and sister sharing stories, yes we all have stories to tell! Sometimes deep pain descends upon us and you have no alternative other than to accept it as part and parcel of this life and to just Be with what is through all seasons of life treasuring the times of ease, also the times of pain learning deep compassion for humanity... Hugs to you Cat x

    1. deep bow and love to you Sue

      you are always in my heart as you traverse your new world without your love....blessed be♥
      love and light

  6. Love, love, love. Such truth and wisdom in your words. So happy to watch your journey! xoxo

    1. thank you Mandy

      love and light to you ♥

  7. Sister you have FOUND heart and soul living. xoxoxoxox

  8. Sunny!!!
    good to have you drop by my sister!

    love and light light light

  9. I agree with what you have said here.
    As humans, we need to feel alive and loved and we do not feel like suffering forever. Although, suffering teaches us a lot about the value of our life and although suffering is inevitable and sometimes, there is no escape from it ...But Still, we never choose suffering even if it is handed to us by fate or destiny. Instead, we choose goodness over suffering..
    I am not keeping well at this moment. My health is not well from one week. And I am taking medicines. So, in a sense, I am suffering a lot but I really don't choose suffering...I am choosing to be loved and choosing to make my life better and choosing to feel good.
    Yes, suffering is unavoidable but in the midst of suffering, I want love , I want the presence of kind hearted souls and encouragement .. Suffering makes me tired ....but I want to experience life in all it's goodness and see all the good things that are there even though maybe I can't but I want. This desire for wanting to ' feel good ' is a human need that is why even though we suffer, we do not want to suffer forever...we want to get least for an hour so that we can at least feel alive and feel the vibe of life...feel the pleasant air that surrounds us...
    I am talking about my health here. But apart from physical illness, there are other types of sufferings too....and I really do not want to suffer that way because I think that as human souls, we have had enough of suffering since it is not necessary to carry it throughout our entire life till our death....if we suffer continuously, when we will enjoy the gift of life then ? Life goes by every second , which is not optional....and yet, we don't realize that we too are suffering every second with life , which is optional.
    Sorry for this long feedback but as I am not keeping well, I thought of expressing my feelings here as I can identify with what you have wrote,

    1. ♥♥♥

      hope you are feeling well again soon my friend
      love and light

  10. lovely blog :)


Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light