A Soul-full Journey...Day 13,14,15

Day 13

Morning Meditation

"Connecting outside yourself"

 Solstice

 the entering of a new season

and the last day of 7 days of journeys with Eagle

this indeed is a new season

not just on the earth

but in my entire being 

as well.

*

I have a story to tell....

There once was a girl

she was born into a world of laws 

A world ruled by fear and condemnation

this world was full of disconnect

a world of confusion

a world of sadness

a world of constraint

But every so often

the sun would shine

or a spark would fly

the stars would twinkle

and a deep Love would wash over her

and when these things happened

it would give her strength to journey on

Often other views or thoughts 

would enter her sights

but she was told they were wrong

and every time she heard this said

another link was added to the chain

that hung around her neck

soon the chain be come heavy

so heavy she could barely keep her head up 

but she was told this was good

this was her burden to carry

"it ensures your humility"

she was told

"it keeps you the lowly creature

that you are"

and being young

she believed them....

*

 My last journey with Eagle

brought me face to face with my teacher

and friend

Jesus

not the "religious" Jesus

the true Jesus

A man of humble beginnings

whose spirit transcended the human realm

who spoke to Creator

and acknowledge their relationship

A man who embodied Love and Acceptance

of all peoples

in a time of great prejudice. 

A voice for the people

in a time when they had no voice

because church and government

had stripped them of it

as a means to

controlled them.

The story of Jesus goes deep

far deeper than the bible stories

I was fed as a child

being brought up in a religiously soaked home.

Those religious chains still linger

even though I have left that world

it was not the place for me

But those chains are hard to break

it has taken many years

many roads

many wounds

many fears faced

to find my way back home...

But as always

I was reached out to

with in my last journey

I was running through the forest

Wolf running with me

and there he was 

Jesus

standing in the path way

and as always

there is a multitude of teachers/prophets/spiritual leaders

that stand with and behind him

but today

I just see him

Jesus

 He is very solemn and at first I feel like he is upset with me...not angry per say but not happy, and very serious. I am like a little girl around him....I can’t remember how the conversation started but I am concerned that he is angry with me about the work I am doing. The residue of the religious chains lingering heavy around my neck. 

He held my face in his hand and smiled, 

He let me know I am doing good, that he was proud of me...

I am a bit panicky, defending myself  and he keeps calming me down...

This part of me is what he is concerned about. 

He wants me to let the “worry about doing the right thing” go. Eventually I calm down and we sit on the forest floor together and talk...he leans over and says to me,

"don't tell the religious people this

but I am not religous!" 

and then he winks at me and laughs

he has such a rich sense of humour.

Of course I know this, but with the way I was raised it can be a challenge to separate the two...

The conversation is hard to put to human words, 

It was an amazing time...

we sit and talk for hours...

he guides and councels me

all the time filling me with his divine love...

He is so loving, so warm and comforting

 I can here Pixie calling us back 

as  it comes time to leave I do not want it to end.

I want to sit with him forever

in this place of total acceptance and love

that he offers.

As I lay on my couch I started crying uncontrollably...sobbing sobbing sobbing...

 I told Jesus I did not want to leave him

and I begin to cry.

 Jesus keeps saying to me

" I am with you, Catherine

 I am always with you"

...and I know that ...

but I really realized how much the chains I once carried

had hurt me

how difficult it has been to shed that religious skin...

to see Spirit

to see Creator

to see God with my own eyes

not through the eyes of a man-made religion.

I sit up

still crying

and I hear Pixie say if we need grounding

to get our bare feet on the earth....

 I walk out to my back yard to ground myself...

it is early here and the world is still.

 I weep....letting go of many things as I do

I grieve those I have lost because of those chains

I greive my own wounds

but I also cry in gratitude

for the Deep Magic

and the Great Love

that holds me

and cares for me

in a way that is beyond

any of my hopes or expectations

 And then God speaks

and tells me to look up at the trees...

our yard backs on to a green belt full of trees

 God says to me,

 "See the trees Catherine, so many different kinds...this is how I meant it for you too, so many different kinds of people, not all the same, not all believing the same, not all experiencing Me in the same way...your are living my intention.”

Today was a big day
a day of renewal for my soul..
I spent time with my girlfriend Angela
I did my  TRX&Yoga classes
I ended my fast with a organic chicken dog
with ALL the fixens!!!
(weird I know, but I was really craving one!!!!)
But nothing was as important as that journey

I want to let it be known
I do not disclaim any of the positive things
religion brings
I have also seen what a church community
can do for those it loves
and it is beautiful
and powerful.
I know that most of the
do-good-people and organizations of the world
start in church
or with church going people.
I am of the mind
that everyone finds their own place
with God
which is unique to their life
and their story.
For me
where I had been brought up
was not the place for me
I learned what I needed 
and then
I was called somewhere else.
I have lost things
because of this call
but I have also gained 
so much more.

  Day 14
Morning Meditation
"Set your Intentions"

8:00am
a Gathering with my
Sisters of Light 
 

preparing for our gathering

This is our last gathering for our year

We re-convene after our fall retreat

which will be at the end of Sept.

 

today we set our visions

for the summer

visions that we hold up for one another

visions that set our intent

(one missing, having a weekend away with her hubby...tha'ts good medicine!)

this small tribe of women
are a very important part of my spiritual journey
they offer a place for me to come and BE
a place to lay my burdens down
a place to get insight and guidance
a place to celebrate success'
and grieve losses
They feed my spirit
and my soul
They are the faces of Goddess
and the vision of God
and for them
I am eternally grateful.

Day 15
(half way through my 30days of soulfullness)
Morning Meditation
"Taking a daily Supplement"

....taking time to check in here
...getting ready for my BFF to come over
with her family
for a wiener roast lunch
(yes a wiener roast my south hemosphere readers!!!)
and a walk around the lake
....dinner out tonight with two other couples 
at my favorite pub
....today is a day for family and friends
and this my  lovelies
is also
an important part
of my spiritual practice

where ever you are
my lovelies
I pray that your chains be light
I pray that Divine Love pours over you
I pray you hear the whispers of Creator  
I pray you know 
that you are treasured 

Love and Light
 

ps Are you seeing how my daily meditations always coincide with what is going on????
 I love how that happens!