A Soul-full Journey...Day 19&20

 
Day 19

this morning I slept in

leading up to my moon 

I always feel more tired

and need more sleep

these are the days I am gentler

with myself

9:00am

Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga is a gentle holistic practice

it includes disciplines

postures (asana)

purification procedures (shatkriya)

gestures (mudra)

breathing (pranayama)

and meditation

as a tool to bring balance

to the mind and body.

It represents opposing energies: 

hot and cold 

 male and female

 positive and negative

and takes one through the

birth

life

death

and re birth

process of ones cycle

It is one of my favorites.

Today it was gentle

just what I needed.  
*
Later

 I saw a bear

in my sister-friends yard

a young black bear

beautiful

shy

and curious

We had just been talking about spiritual protection...

He was a gift.

*

Today I came across two lost boys
one came to my door
he was canvassing for the Red Cross
I could not tell you if it was a scam or not
but he was the story I wanted to share
broken
lost
unsure
no direction
no grounding
all stemming from a life time
of neglect
How do I know this?
It oozed off of him
every cell of his body in confusion
every cell of his body screaming out
it was like I could hear his thoughts
I felt his heart
I knew his story
A wrinkle in time
and I stepped into his world.
He lingered with me long after
he was gone
I wished I would have said something
but in the moment
I was mute
soaking in the experience
and then
what would I have said
I do remember my mama love kicking in
surrounding him with it
saturating his being as best as I could
a lost boy
trying to find his way home....

the second came after a movie
Today was my little mans last day of grade 4
so off to the cheap movie theater we went
to veiw the new Iron Man
The lost boy was sitting out side of  a store
the residual affects of drug abuse evident
he was the age of my man-child...
maybe a couple years older 
he asked for change
I asked what for
he said he was hungry
"Can I buy you some food?"
I know it wasn't really what he wanted
but he conceded
and ask for a coke....
and a Klondike Bar
My little man and I went into the store
grabbing what he asked for
along with some other easy healthy items
My little man making the choices
asking the questions
feeling out the situation.
We handed him his bag of goods
I again wanted to say so much more
instead I spoke silently over him
" you matter
you are not nothing
your mother misses you"
Then I got back into my car

with my little man

talked about the lost boy

and I cried.

Lost Boys...

*

 Day 20

a day of connections

a day of "touching base"

12 noon

TRX

lunch after with my man-childs step mom

and a sister-friend

my home begins it's transformation into summer

 as do I

I have decided to embrace this summer

for all the adventure and revealing 

it has to offer

Summer has long been my least favorite season

I do not hate it

I just don't love it

My English/Irish heritage does not embrace

the deep heat

and hot emotions 

that come with Summer

But this year

this year I have deemed different

because I have a new found self

I look forward to what it brings....

like a 1 1/2 hour bike ride

in my "church"

shifting the restlessness of my approaching moon

and instead

moving my body

raising my heart rate

breathing in the earth

and all her beauty....

like long summer talks

with my husband

on the back deck

while my little man and his friend

play made up games in the yard...

and getting out little travel trailer

in running order

for some road trip adventures....

These are the things that feed

the Soul.

These are the things

that Summer offers

and I accept

with hands open

and heart full of gratitude

 *

What is Summer bringing you 

my lovelies?

Love and Light

A Soul-full Journey...Days 17 & 18

Morning Meditation

"Finding Your Rythme"

6am

TRX

9am

Hot Flow Yoga

 

Asking myself these questions:

Who am I?

What is my purpose?

Where did I come from? 

Learning to:

Breathe

Relax

Allow

Surrender

Be

Giving myself:

Rest

Solitude

Down time

Remembering:

I am a precious child of God

I never walk alone

I have been given all that I need

I am loved.

Sacred Balance
by Pixie Campbell
"Wolves are known mostly as pack animals, 
but as a couple,
they represent a lifelong bond.
The protective front-running male is aware of the prospects and risks ahead,
while the playful, wild female frolics free-spiritedly nearby.
This piece wants to tell a story about the inner masculine and feminine, or in Jung's terms,
the animus and anima.
When there is a marriage of the two withing,
we can call upon the warrior or the nurturer when needed,

 and we can sense that we are whole. 
Because it would be a disservice to the maturity of Self to linger in one aspect unnecessarily, the two exist to divinely balance one another, 
bringing peace to the psyche.
There is a time for the sword, for action, for hunting, for closing the deal, for taking on the world, for digging the den, for soldiering through.
And equally there is a time for nesting, for comfort, for gathering, for weaving, for holding the emotions of others, for intuition, for creativity, for going within and for grieving.
One cannot survive without the other.
These two wild spirits offer up a reminder of that sacred harmony between the trusty king
and illuminated queen within."

Today took the energy down 
and sank into a time of rest
*

Morning Meditation
"Above the Clouds"
(last day of the 15 days meditation challenge)

everyday we encounter circumstances in life
that up-set us and disturb our inner happines
I have found these "things"are filled with 
great wisdom
gifts
messages
for us to learn from.

Here is a mantra to consider:
If there is a way to solution..then what is there to worry about?
If there is no way to solution...then what is the use of being upset?

I have seen many a person lay claim to 
enlightenment
a relationship with God
spiritual freedom
and yet they worry
yet they are fearful
yet I see no peace coming from
their being...
That has always confused me...

5:30 am
an early morning walk
dog and camera's
after a quick but intense summer storm
the night before...
It is these images
I find see Gods face

pigeons

hawk

beaver

slug...lol

robin

9:00am
Chakra Yoga

A beautiful dance and breathe
in which we opened each chakra-energy center
in our bodies
And where each soul percent connected
to form one body
each different
yet the same.

I came to class early.
Antje hands me a bowl
It holds a deck of card
"Wild Woman" cards
You are to ponder, ask a question
and then pull a card.

My question:
Am I to work on my books this summer?
and if so
How?
I want to work on them...maybe even finish one
I don't know how that is going to look
given school is out...
But
it is my hearts desire.
Is it the desire I should pursue during this season?

the card I pulled:
Voice 
"This card expresses a desire for you to tell your stories,
stories of your life, stories you've read, and wisdom you've learned through your journey on life's path.
Share your experiences and nourish others with your stories.
Touch others with your memories of life however big or small. They are a treasure found in the time capsule of your heart at the precise time and place required, waiting to share and acknowledge who we are in the scheme of things.
Lending an ear will help others to tell more stories.
Women need to tell more stories. Open the silent doors of wisdom and power within, and unleash the tales of magic in everyday life, the short profound moments of mystery,
 the everyday humour of our daily experiences,
the knowledge of our similar paths.
Show each other we are here,
ready to stand up and reveal who we are to one another. 
This will continue feeding our wisdom,
nourishing our souls,
empowering our beings so that others know that they too
walk a worthy and powerful life.
Never underestimate the power of a story.
Stories lead us to places of knowing within.
Let your stories be heard."
*

and now the day slows to an end
and again
my heart is full

a boy and his dog

my lovelies
what wonderful messages are you receiving?

Love and Light

A Soul-full Journey Day 16

Morning Meditation
"Your personal practice"

a personal practice is an 
important part
of the spiritual life
taking part in this 30 challenge
 has re-affirmed to me
it could be 15 minutes
it could be an hour
whatever it is
it is meaningful
it matters

9:00
TRX

today I feel a little drained
for a few reasons
one is 
I visited with my "mom" who is terminal
and she was very low today
mixed with bitterness
and though I am in compete understanding
of these emotions
it took it out of me today...
my cycle is coming to my emotional time
so I find myself far more sensitive
to those around me

Also
this lovely lady
went for her first chemo treatment today
so I held space for her all day
wondering how it was going 
but so respecting her space

a candle was lit all day

in my studio

shining a light

on her path

she is so lovely
she text me tonight to let me know
how she was
challenging, but do-able 
she goes for her next one on Wed.
If you feel so inclined
would you share the love
and send her a note of encouragement?
You can find her here
that would be amazing...

not much else to say today
I think I am need of some rest...

what are you in need of my lovelies?

Love and Light 

A Soul-full Journey...Day 13,14,15

Day 13

Morning Meditation

"Connecting outside yourself"

 Solstice

 the entering of a new season

and the last day of 7 days of journeys with Eagle

this indeed is a new season

not just on the earth

but in my entire being 

as well.

*

I have a story to tell....

There once was a girl

she was born into a world of laws 

A world ruled by fear and condemnation

this world was full of disconnect

a world of confusion

a world of sadness

a world of constraint

But every so often

the sun would shine

or a spark would fly

the stars would twinkle

and a deep Love would wash over her

and when these things happened

it would give her strength to journey on

Often other views or thoughts 

would enter her sights

but she was told they were wrong

and every time she heard this said

another link was added to the chain

that hung around her neck

soon the chain be come heavy

so heavy she could barely keep her head up 

but she was told this was good

this was her burden to carry

"it ensures your humility"

she was told

"it keeps you the lowly creature

that you are"

and being young

she believed them....

*

 My last journey with Eagle

brought me face to face with my teacher

and friend

Jesus

not the "religious" Jesus

the true Jesus

A man of humble beginnings

whose spirit transcended the human realm

who spoke to Creator

and acknowledge their relationship

A man who embodied Love and Acceptance

of all peoples

in a time of great prejudice. 

A voice for the people

in a time when they had no voice

because church and government

had stripped them of it

as a means to

controlled them.

The story of Jesus goes deep

far deeper than the bible stories

I was fed as a child

being brought up in a religiously soaked home.

Those religious chains still linger

even though I have left that world

it was not the place for me

But those chains are hard to break

it has taken many years

many roads

many wounds

many fears faced

to find my way back home...

But as always

I was reached out to

with in my last journey

I was running through the forest

Wolf running with me

and there he was 

Jesus

standing in the path way

and as always

there is a multitude of teachers/prophets/spiritual leaders

that stand with and behind him

but today

I just see him

Jesus

 He is very solemn and at first I feel like he is upset with me...not angry per say but not happy, and very serious. I am like a little girl around him....I can’t remember how the conversation started but I am concerned that he is angry with me about the work I am doing. The residue of the religious chains lingering heavy around my neck. 

He held my face in his hand and smiled, 

He let me know I am doing good, that he was proud of me...

I am a bit panicky, defending myself  and he keeps calming me down...

This part of me is what he is concerned about. 

He wants me to let the “worry about doing the right thing” go. Eventually I calm down and we sit on the forest floor together and talk...he leans over and says to me,

"don't tell the religious people this

but I am not religous!" 

and then he winks at me and laughs

he has such a rich sense of humour.

Of course I know this, but with the way I was raised it can be a challenge to separate the two...

The conversation is hard to put to human words, 

It was an amazing time...

we sit and talk for hours...

he guides and councels me

all the time filling me with his divine love...

He is so loving, so warm and comforting

 I can here Pixie calling us back 

as  it comes time to leave I do not want it to end.

I want to sit with him forever

in this place of total acceptance and love

that he offers.

As I lay on my couch I started crying uncontrollably...sobbing sobbing sobbing...

 I told Jesus I did not want to leave him

and I begin to cry.

 Jesus keeps saying to me

" I am with you, Catherine

 I am always with you"

...and I know that ...

but I really realized how much the chains I once carried

had hurt me

how difficult it has been to shed that religious skin...

to see Spirit

to see Creator

to see God with my own eyes

not through the eyes of a man-made religion.

I sit up

still crying

and I hear Pixie say if we need grounding

to get our bare feet on the earth....

 I walk out to my back yard to ground myself...

it is early here and the world is still.

 I weep....letting go of many things as I do

I grieve those I have lost because of those chains

I greive my own wounds

but I also cry in gratitude

for the Deep Magic

and the Great Love

that holds me

and cares for me

in a way that is beyond

any of my hopes or expectations

 And then God speaks

and tells me to look up at the trees...

our yard backs on to a green belt full of trees

 God says to me,

 "See the trees Catherine, so many different kinds...this is how I meant it for you too, so many different kinds of people, not all the same, not all believing the same, not all experiencing Me in the same way...your are living my intention.”

Today was a big day
a day of renewal for my soul..
I spent time with my girlfriend Angela
I did my  TRX&Yoga classes
I ended my fast with a organic chicken dog
with ALL the fixens!!!
(weird I know, but I was really craving one!!!!)
But nothing was as important as that journey

I want to let it be known
I do not disclaim any of the positive things
religion brings
I have also seen what a church community
can do for those it loves
and it is beautiful
and powerful.
I know that most of the
do-good-people and organizations of the world
start in church
or with church going people.
I am of the mind
that everyone finds their own place
with God
which is unique to their life
and their story.
For me
where I had been brought up
was not the place for me
I learned what I needed 
and then
I was called somewhere else.
I have lost things
because of this call
but I have also gained 
so much more.

  Day 14
Morning Meditation
"Set your Intentions"

8:00am
a Gathering with my
Sisters of Light 
 

preparing for our gathering

This is our last gathering for our year

We re-convene after our fall retreat

which will be at the end of Sept.

 

today we set our visions

for the summer

visions that we hold up for one another

visions that set our intent

(one missing, having a weekend away with her hubby...tha'ts good medicine!)

this small tribe of women
are a very important part of my spiritual journey
they offer a place for me to come and BE
a place to lay my burdens down
a place to get insight and guidance
a place to celebrate success'
and grieve losses
They feed my spirit
and my soul
They are the faces of Goddess
and the vision of God
and for them
I am eternally grateful.

Day 15
(half way through my 30days of soulfullness)
Morning Meditation
"Taking a daily Supplement"

....taking time to check in here
...getting ready for my BFF to come over
with her family
for a wiener roast lunch
(yes a wiener roast my south hemosphere readers!!!)
and a walk around the lake
....dinner out tonight with two other couples 
at my favorite pub
....today is a day for family and friends
and this my  lovelies
is also
an important part
of my spiritual practice

where ever you are
my lovelies
I pray that your chains be light
I pray that Divine Love pours over you
I pray you hear the whispers of Creator  
I pray you know 
that you are treasured 

Love and Light
 

ps Are you seeing how my daily meditations always coincide with what is going on????
 I love how that happens!