Shadow-Stalking the One who Betrayed...SouLodge

In the Shadows
lurks our shame
In the Shadows 
hides our deepest pain
In the Shadows

lies our true name...
~Catherine Beerda-Basso

Shadow-Stalking
the art of going deep
and unfolding those things
that hold you back from being
your true-whole self...
This is what my sisters and I
 are doing this month
in SouLodge.
*
I wanted to share with you 
one of my shadows that I discovered
this past week while doing
my soul work
this one was
larger than life
never had I looked at it this way
I knew it had been a part of my life
and I knew the effects it had caused
but I never saw how I really felt about it
I had accepted it
and thought I had moved on
never seeing the "file" in which I had placed it
in my deep dark psyche
I never saw it as one of my Betrayers...
*

Religion...

Religion saw in me the Light it longed for
Saw in me the Love it needed....wanted
Saw in me the pure innocence of being
Saw in me the Longing to be connected
into something bigger than myself
Saw in me the hunger to be Free
Saw in me the determination 
to live...
not hidden, 
but out in the open
for all to see

Religion saw in me Compassion and Knowing
saw in me the Deep Magic that was there
before time began
Saw in me Life Times of 
Freedom Fighting...
a Soul that was constant and true

Religion saw in me all that it feared
saw in me all that would transform it
to something else
and so
it tried to steal my Essence
it tried to trample my Being
it tried to stomp out my Knowing
it tried to take my Freedom
it tried to rape my Love
it tried to cover my Individuality
it tried to break my Spirit

it tried
it tried 
and it tired again
and sometimes
I conceded
too tired
too inexperienced
too exhausted and 
longing for peace
I would give in
So it would stop slamming up against me
So it would stop making me feel less then
So it would quiet the voices

But it would never last...
and soon
My bright eyes would shine
My heart would need to soar
My feet grew roots that longed for 
the deep rich soil of Mother Earth
and I needed to respond
I could not deny the pull
I could not deny The Voice...

The Voice that comes in stillness
that holds the Love of the World
The Voice that gently guides me
Back to my place of Holy
Back to the place prepared for me
Back to my spiritual Home
Where there is no one hanging on the cross
And where the blood and horror has been replace by 
Love and Light
Back to the place where I was created to serve
Back
Back
Back
The Voice is always call me back
The Voice is always calling you back

Religion
my Betrayer
Born by man
Fed by fear
Nurtured by control...
I forgive you
As we stand now
face to face
You my Shadow
Me your Light
I forgive you
and
thank you
For it was you 
who pushed me Back
you who sharpened my edge
you who burned off the residue
you who helped keep my longing alive
you are not what I long for 
and yet
it is through you
that I know what it is I am longing for
what it is 
I am going back to...
*

there is  such a freedom found in Embracing 
that which has hurt us
it does not need you "take it on"
it is about acceptance and letting go
you can only let go of something
after you have accepted it is there...
*
seeing religion as my betrayer
and not the people involved in the religion
as my betrayers
has made my view that much clearer
there has been so much hurt and heart ache
tied up into this one thing
and now
seeing it with new eyes
those past hurts and pains
the ones I just accepted
are falling away
and a renewed sense of freedom 
has come upon me...
a shift in perspective
a facing of ones shadows
doing the work
these things
can set you free

What is it you are going back to my Lovelies?
What shadows are pushing you there?

Love and Light