all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Wednesday 19 December 2012

Deeper and Wider


Yesterday the snows fell
as if to blanket me deeper
into the still silence
of this space I am in...

just the day before I was capturing
these images


Snow Geese
in the wet lands
that sprawl out behind my home
underneath the watchful eyes
 of the mighty mountain range...


These beautiful birds
Grace us with their presence
this time of year
a symbol of the season...


And I can't help but ask
what season is this?

There is tribulation in the world
and there is tribulation in my home...
things are shifting at a rapid rate
...so it seems...
the ebb and flow
tangibly felt
and I trying not to get
swept away in it
not to be carried into emotions 
with no direction


I have been intentional about 
creating space around me
Holding space for myself
something I easily and quickly do for others
but have never done
with such intent
for myself


The same day I was with
The Snow Geese
I saw these two eagles
They are always such a gift


They are such a reminder to me
to see above and beyond
what is in front of me
to look further than the obvious...
So as the world morns the losses,
not only those who lives were taken
at last weeks shooting
but also the lives that are continually taken
in countries where humans rights
are not considered,
and as I walk through my own
personal place of uncertainty
I take guidance from Eagle


To be lifted up 
to  look beyond my own understanding
to trust
to believe
to be ever present
and even as I enter the season of Christmas
with such an unsettled feeling
pressing upon my being
I can and will hold space
not only for others
but for self
And by holding that space
around me
I allow Spirit a place to be
with me
to carry me
to lift me up
to hold fast to truths
beyond the human eye...
and though there is much
I am unsure of
there are things I am
very sure of

(my still unfinished work of art.....15 hours and counting)

as sure as the very snowflakes
I carry on my body
so am I sure of the life
the springs up after such times...
this I know to be true
That in this discomfort of the season
beauty arises
the knowing that I have nothing to prove to anyone
and that I am responsible for my own heart
*
and so it would be 
during this time of "unknowing"
that my man child would return home


He has been gone for 2 months now
on his own adventure "down under"
He came home
a little earlier than expected
but his heart longed to be back
in the familiar
in the consistence
of a life well laid...
As we drove home in the 
early morning hours
He spoke of his adventures
especially the spiritual connection
he shared with the ocean
as he surfed her waves
in the dawn of each day
He spoke of the connection
the becoming one
with her wild yet familiar way...
It did my mama heart good
to hear these things from his mouth
for it is what I wish for my boys
they would find their Spiritual Connection
to earth
to life
to themselves
To find God
in a way they can recognize...
*
Life can not always be comfortable
Life can not always offer bliss
I am reminded of that
at a time like this
Even though it would seem the "perfect time"
to have all of that
Life has so much more to offer
It offers something
Deeper and Wider...
*

To bless this Space between Us
with John O'Donohue

No one know the wonder
Your child awoke in you
Your heart a perfect cradle
To hold it's presence
Inside and Outside became one
As new waves of Love
Kept surprising your Soul

Now you sit bereft
Inside a nightmare
Your eyes numbed 
By the sight of a grave
No parent should ever see

You will wear this absence
Like a secret locket
Always wondering why
Such a new Soul
Was taken home so soon

Let the silent tears flow
And when your eyes clear
Perhaps you will glimpse
How your eternal child
Has become the unseen angel
Who parents your heart
And persuades the Moon
To send new gifts ashore.
*

Today
and for the days to come 
I hold on to Eagle Eye
and remain in this space
of intention...
to become Deeper
to become Wider.

Where are you at my lovelies?

Love and Light

ps I had the joy of going to The Hobbit
with the youngest boy, last Friday, with his reading group
stunning and captivating!


9 comments:

  1. I completely am at the same place! One of my favourite authors is John .o.D.!
    The hobbit is a good book and I hope to see the movie but we got the flu when we were supposed to go. Not only is my spirit broken with things internally and outside but my body is broken too. It's a very tough season this year indeed. Barely holding it together here...
    But as always there is hope. I've missed you dear friend and I pray for moments of peace and healing too.
    So glad the son is home to change the pace a bit;) so glad he had a good time;)!

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  2. I'm living a paradox too with the ebbing and flowing and the uncertainty in my home but also, at the same time,a deep sense of something bigger and grander and right holding me, holding all of us. It's a strange feeling for this time of year, for me. I feel a really big shift in the air and it's the feeling of stillness in the air before a huge storm but the storm will bring beauty ( if i'm making any sense here) love to you xoxo all will be as it is supposed to me, I'm sure of that xoxo

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  3. I wrote a new post today and I think it may enliven and envision. xoxo

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  4. Ah, the space you hold here is always a place I crave to visit. Your honesty and journeying are a balm. Since the tragedy here last week I've been tender and tearful and present. Orion is growing like the best things on earth. Love you, A

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  5. I am thrilled your son is home safe and sound. What a great feeling to be able to hold him in your arms, and know he is in the nest. :) He sounds like a great guy. I'm not surprised.

    Your writing is beautiful...and I admire you for your ability to express yourself so honestly. Even though I keep journals, I have a hard time being honest when I know I am the only one who will read it. There is something about putting my feelings into words that make them more real, alive, painful...perhaps if I was more honest with myself, I would find more healing.

    It's always so healing to be around nature. Nature has so many answers, if only we can quite our minds and hearts long enough to listen. You are doing so wonderful at doing just that.

    Wishing you a beautiful Wednesday night, Cat.

    xoxox

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  6. Thank you for this incredibly beautiful post, I am feeling insecure at the moment, your words have lifted me! I love snow, the year before last when my blog was new we had snow from October to March I was in a bliss bubble the whole time with my photography so your take on the snowflake has much meaning for me, transporting me back! So lovely to hear of your boy returning as the man you would want him to be, blessing to you all. xxx

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  7. He is home.

    Miss you and love you friend.
    We too are home. Hanging on the low down. I will write soon.

    Please pass love to robeman and the boys.

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  8. The man child is home - :) the Mama must be happy
    It seems so strange seeing and reading of snow when we are praying for rain as our water tank is empty and we are melting

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  9. Snow + Eagles + Tundra Swans = awesome! I love your words, especially "to trust, to believe, to be ever present". It all goes back to simplicity and being right here. Thank you for those reminders. xo

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Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light