all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Monday, 31 December 2012

The Final Offering for 2012...Reflections of a year living with Vulnerablitiy

It is the last morning of 2012
the snow is gently falling outside my window
the wood stove is crackling
the boys...all of them including the husband
are playing skate 3 on the PS3
enjoying each others company
I am still in my pjs at 10:51 in the morning
sipping on a Starbucks 
with no where to be
taking this time
to be with you...

Sounds like perfection doesn't it.

what does that words really mean?
Truth is
I live a real life
not a post card life
I would say moments like the one that is happening
in my home, while I write this,
are moments that I treasure
in any given moment
it could totally turn upside down...
or go severely sidways.
I have come to learn perfection can be found
even in those upside down moments
is a state of mind
is objective
is a choice
perfection is what you choose it to be

although I did not complete and publish my book
as I had hoped
I did complete the first 5 chapters
and will continue that journey this coming year.

There was a lot to learn
living with Vulnerability
Things, I now know, I had to live through
in order to bring that vulnerability
to my my book

There was amazing growth
that came out of this year
Growth I could not have imagined
or anticipated
And the allies that vulnerability brought with her
I would have never known
had I not trusted her
followed her
allowed myself to be drawn into her

The road was challenging
and at times I felt stretched to the max
like I had been dragged across the pavement
and sometimes I just wasn't sure it was all worth it

but I choose to continue on...

In this space
my goal was to be as vulnerable as possible
sometimes this was a challenge
was I sharing too much?
was I not sharing enough?
who is reading what I am sharing???
But I was committed
and now
that is comes to an end
I am so glad I was.

This path of Vulnerability
brought me closer to Trust
brought me closer to Faith
brought me closer to Life/Death/Life
bought me closer to myself
and that is my soul purpose
to journey back to self...
my Spiritual Self
and the place from which I came.

Vulnerability walked with me as I traveled deep within
She forced me to go places I did not want to go
but places I needed to walk through
More often than not
I could not see my way clearly
except for the very step I was on.
There were times when I had no idea
where that path would lead
And many times
there seemed to be more dark then light....

Vulnerability taught me that seeing clearly
is not what is important...
continuing the journey, in spite of clouded vision
learning to ask for clear guidance through such times
is essential for a spiritual journey.

Vulnerability taught me that having enough light
for the step I was on
was enough...
more than enough.

Vulnerability taught me that I did not need to know
where that path lead...
that being where I was 
was more important then were I was going.
She showed me that sometimes seeing around the corner
affected the lessons on the path
right in front of me.
She showed me how to accept where I was
right where I was
and not only accept it
but sink into it
to embrace it
to love it
to cherish it.

 Vulnerability taught me to further embrace the dark
to further embrace the struggle
to further embrace to fire of life.
She taught me to feel all
and by feeling all
I could embrace all
and by embracing all
I found freedom to Love all.
Vulnerability taught me the importance of Death
the importance to allow something you love
to end
in order for something new
to begin.
Vulnerability revealed the loving side of grief
She journeyed me through the place of
letting go

She showed me
the path is there for all
She told me about the choice
we all have
She made clear to me that in here,
there is untold power
untold treasure
untold gifts.

Walking with her has allowed me to release
self struggle
all things important for me
to write my heart
with no attachment to out come...
Releasing allows Space for new Life 
or to allow the Life I already have
to grow that much bigger
and stronger.

Space has been created
with in and without
So much so coming to the end of this year
I made a big decision...

...after 25 years of hairdressing
and 12 years of running my own, very successful 
home studio
I have closed my doors
A difficult decision to make
as I know what I offer to the women who come
But it is no longer enough for me...
my soaring heart needs more

More writing and a finished book
More time to
More spiritual space for self
More time for Hanna House


It's a chance I am taking
giving up a steady income
walking away from something that is such
a part of me...
not knowing at all how this coming year will pan out
measuring my success spiritually
instead of monetarily
following spirit not the world
is what
walking with
gave me


Courage to follow my heart
Courage to bear the fruit
Courage to grow the leaves
Courage to
Reach my Branches high to the sky
with no fear of judgement
with no chains of oppression
with only Love 
wrapped around my soul

This was a gift I received this year
from a very special lady
She could not have known the deep meaning it would hold for me
but when she bought it she trusted her instincts
and saw me in it
There were a few gifts like this, this year
spiritual gifts...
signs to carry me on my way...

This year has been a deep difficult blessing
to my life
I am grateful for all it offered
for every soul it offered
for every gift

I am filled with Trust beyond measure
I have know idea what the future holds
but I am ready.

This song runs deep for me
the dance
the struggle
the heart wrenching love
this is life
painfully beautiful
We are either doing...or not doing
I choose to do.
Vulnerability taught me how to love
even those thing that are unloveable
to embrace to full package
not just that which is easy
She revealed to me
the Shadow Stalker inside
and gave me clear vision in the dark
and there I found my Perfection
All is beauty
All matters
All is spiritual...

Thank you
Thank you my lovelies
for walking this year out with me
your presence is a gift
a light
a joy
a peace
You inspire
You teach
You grow me
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
May 2013 bring more revolution
bring more restoration
bring my re-birth
in all our lives

You are Me
I am You

I love you

I see you

Love and Light
Aho Sisters

If it's not yet obvious to you, the real reason for this, and all seasons, is You. A more perfect child of the Universe has never lived. Until now, only celebrations cloaked in myth and mystery could hint at your divine heritage and sacred destiny. You are life's prayer of becoming and its answer. The first light at the dawn of eternity, drawn from the ether, so that I might know my own depth, discover new heights, and revel in seas of blessed emotion.

A pioneer into illusion, an adventurer into the unknown, and a lifter of veils. Courageous, heroic, and exalted by legions in the unseen.

To give beyond reason, to care beyond hope, to love without limit; to reach, stretch, and dream, in spite of your fears. These are the hallmarks of divinity - traits of the immortal - your badges of honor. May you wear them with a pride as great as what we feel for you.

Your light has illuminated darkened paths, your gaze has lifted broken spirits, and already your life has changed the course of history.

This is the time of year we celebrate YOU.

Bowing before Greatness,
    The Universe


  1. I love that song too! Yes.. And it was a pleasure to see something I did clearly say your name!:)
    So glad you are taking time for you and moving into a new chapter!
    This was full of wisdom. My favourite line was;

    Vulnerability taught me that having enough light
    for the step I was on
    was enough...
    more than enough.

    Thank you for sharing your words, gifts and life! It has deeply impacted me. You are a lovely light on this journey. A sister travelling. All my love;)
    Glad the scarf meant something to you;) it was such an honour to bestow a gift upon you in my home;)

  2. Isn't it strange how we think we need courage to be vulnerable, when actually being vulnerable brings courage. I love how beautifully you put this.
    Catherine Denton

  3. so much growth in 2012. beautiful! all the best as you embark on the next voyage.

    Happy New Year!

  4. "And many times
    there seemed to be more dark then light...." My favourite line... and the word "seemed" oh how I relate to that. I'm so excited for you, for your new beginnings and for what vulnerability taught you and by default through reading your words, taught me.. I thank you for sharing your heart, I haven't forgotten I didn't finish what I had started. When my littlest goes back to school, I will be fully present to continue on. love you so much xoxo

  5. May 2013 be filled with new discoveries and the richest blessing. Love and light to you, my friend xxx

  6. What a beautiful and deep message you have spread through this post ! I am deeply grateful to you.
    I am taking away many lessons from this.

    I truly want you to complete the book that you are writing because your words/writings has the capacity to connect with and empower women.
    What you have written on vulnerability is something I can relate to -I took a decision to be courageous last year { when I started my blog} but I have noticed that courage and vulnerability goes together...something which you have beautifully described in your post today.
    Thank you for sharing this post. It has deeply impacted/inspired me. Keep on inspiring us with your wisdom and beautiful words-this is my wish for you in this New Year.
    I wish you all the best for the new life choices that you have made. May you shine in all your endeavours.
    Sending love and happiness your way,
    take care,

  7. Oh this! What messages here. I'm going to have to come back, with my journal and scribble down the secret messages that jump out to me for there are many. So many. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving and encouraging people like me. You are wonderful.

  8. Ohhh myyy....I LOVE this post! my favourite part >>> "the snow is gently falling outside my window the wood stove is crackling"...beautiful and I felt like I was right there in the moment.
    Writing 5 chapters is fabulous!! and much further than I've gotten on my own book. Here's to 2013 and your continued writing...your words are beautiful and candid, always.
    I admire your courage and bravery in letting go of your hair styling - all the possibilities of 2013 await you now. Happy HAPPY New Year!! I am so grateful that our paths have crossed here in blogland.

  9. Here's to all that and more for you in 2013! Thank you for sharing your light.

  10. You have been beautiful in your vulnerability! That took courage. Thank you for all that you are, many blessings to you for this new year!


    p.s. So glad that you received the package and are enjoying my gifts to you!

  11. A lovely and profound that touches my soul in its vulnerability. A real gift to read on this 1st day of 2013.

    Warmest blessings and fullfilled aspirations to you.

  12. So much of what you wrote has transpired in my life in 2012. I am looking forward to the great joys and celebrations of 2013 and willing to grow continually. Vulnerability - Yes, a close friend of mine too! In order to experience great love, joy, bliss, peace etc...we need that lesson. Thank you for being a truthful expression for so many of us, as we are all one.
    We are stonrger for what we have seen, felt and endured and as spiritual seekers we can now share the light with many.

  13. Such a deeply satisfying and soul provoking post. I am so happy for you Cat, for your strength and evolution. And your courage, wow, what an inspiration. I will enjoy following you this year and watching your continue to expand, grow and inspire. You are beautiful.
    Happy New Year Cat...

  14. Leap, sister. Leap :) I am so excited to see what light you will bring to your world, to all our worlds!! xoxox

  15. A year of courage in front of your soul. May you stay anchored in your deep knowing so that you may take flight in all your fullness. Your images and words are poetic and full of soul-story. Shine on, dear Cat, woman of the woods.

  16. I am excited for you, as you begin this new year having more time for your heart's desire. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us, it has been truly beautiful and inspiring. I wonder what your word for this year will be.....looking forward to sharing your journey with you, my lovely sister.

  17. How much I've missed. How happy, and inspired, and in awe I am of you. Thank you, Cat. I needed this today, and everyday.

  18. A beautiful post! Exciting to see what your next chapter (year) will be like and am excited to read about it! All the best to you!

  19. I canNOT wait for your book, Cat! I will be first in line for an autographed copy!! It will come..the timing will be as it is meant to be and it will come.
    Thankyou for sharing your journey with vulnerability.. So much wisdom brought from her to much courage to live and love fully and aware.

  20. Your message sat and sat unread as I roared around doing what us warrior women do....mother, create, provide, nurture, energize support, socialize and then the moment comes when we know we need to stop and enjoy a coffee as the snow falls gently..... however today it is raining and I am drinking water........;)
    I have been feeling pained these last couple of days, stirring in my own head, as I feel I am not producing!!! Your words came at a most beautiful time. Reaching out, touching me and assuring that this is where I am meant to be. Still and quiet, self reflecting and owing this down time to myself. We don't know what is around the corner, or if we will be "successful" in our next chapter, but allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and open up our hearts and souls to the unknown is incredibly amazing and courageous. Thank you Cat for sharing your journey. I look forward to the day that we our paths meet so I can give you the biggest HUG!!!


Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light