(Nate holding his new little brother Aiden 2003)
That was hard to take, but the words couldn't have been truer. We all let each other down now and again. I had to look at it as if it was someone else being late and how would I react. I looked at my reaction and I saw that I wasn't being fair or just in anyway. If it had been Steve, my husband, I may have said something, but let it go. It certainly would not have progressed to a place of spitting nails anger. It was another big learning lesson for me that allowed a release to happen in our growing relationship.
|(Thanksgiving Breakfast 2010)|
Nathen once asked,
“If Steve is my step-dad does that mean John-Dad is Aiden's step-dad?”
Aiden just asked me the other day,
“Is John-Dad my uncle?”
I responded to him with a smile,
He then asked,
“Then why do you say that he is our family.”
I explained to him,
“ Family is more than just blood or marriage. Because John-Dad is Nates dad that makes him a part of our family. And because you are Nates brother that makes you a part of John-Dad and Danika's family. So put us all together we are one big family!”
He totally got it. To him, he knows nothing else. His favourite place to stay when Steve and I take some alone time is with John and Danika. Yes, it is true. My ex and his wife take care of my husband and my son for us when we go away. It is crazy, we all acknowledge that, but it is also such a blessing! When I asked Nathen about how he felt about his family he said to me,
“In comparison to what?”
Like Aiden, for Nathen this is the way it is. He knows nothing else. Though when he is in trouble, I have heard him say that he wishes we didn't all get along so well. I can empathize as I am sure having 4 parents, that work together, can be a little annoying as a teenager!
points of view from the others:
Steve: Well, at first I was doing it for Nathen. But then after a while it started to be about all of us.
Now there is a friendship, a relationship. Besides John would be lost without me.
John: Well, to me it is just common sense. Either you learn to get along, and everyone is happy or you don't get along and everyone is miserable. Doing it this way is so much better, it's really good! And besides Steve would be lost without me.
Danika: Our family is certainly unique. We do have separate lives but they intertwine, and we create love and support. We collaborate with each other, bounce around our thoughts, sound warnings, and celebrate together. This family gives us roots, it feeds us, and gives back... really nice when you consider the alternative!
We truly think we are a family worth celebrating.
I wanted to share this to be real and honest about the road we have traveled
This kind of life takes commitment, patience and endurance.
Sometimes it seems that others have it easy...
these are words I have heard myself.
But truth is everything has come to be
with intention and commitment.
Digging Deep and Loving Large.
Never could I have known it would have
turned out the way it has.
I fell blessed and grateful.
And humbly I say to you
if there is Love.
Thanks for reading
Love and Light