My Offering...Me...

this is my intention this year

this  is me working

in my beautiful new space....

 

it used to look like this...

but then I decided to make a big change

leave the world I had been a part of since 

I was 16

and move on to a deeper place within

to take my place in the realm of 

writing and imagery...

it's been a good change

and this week

I have begun to felt the rhythm

more clearly.

*

this is my puppy prince ~Ruger~

in a couple months he will be 3

but labs stay puppies for a

very

very

very 

long time

lol

he's brilliant

what I have loved about having a big dog

(I grew up with a small dog while hubby grew up with big dogs

many big dogs

at one time they had 5!

That number could be considered a little crazy...)

is that they are all about you

for him it is about

"What can I do for you mommy?"

Our princess

who we had to put to sleep last Sept. 

on the other hand

was 

"What can you do for me?"

lol

but she did have her own endearing qualities

I am crazy in love with him.

I love music

I love to dance

I love to sing...for myself and others
I love to give of myself
when I am able

my boyz.....meaning
my husband
and my kids
are the corner stones of my world
each bringing me something I need
each helping me stand
for something I want 
I never dreamed of being married 
I had an image
given to me as a very young girl
me and a child...living in the city 
but I ended up being given
so much more then that childhood vision
now I live in the burbs
me, my husband, my two boys
my oldest sons father and his wife
this makes up my immediate family
peculiar to say the least
rich beyond measure

I am a lover of relationships and connection
I am deeply spiritual
for me
life is nothing without the deep magic of Spirit
but I don't subscribe to "one way"
I have learnt that life, culture, economics, heritage
all play a part and affect the spiritual walk

I am intense, passionate, emotional and convicted
I feel deeply and strive to live even deeper

I sometimes feel unseen...even by those close to me 
some times the brightness of my personality
stands in the way of the others sides of me

For a large part of my life I was challenged by depression
I longed for death to ease my troubled mind

I have walked through much healing
since those days
and have found 
a deep love and appreciation for life

fully and completely
it has been a journey to get here
a beautiful, raw, enlightening journey
one by which I have been immensely blessed  

I am as strong as an old oak
who's roots have anchored deep into the earth
over hundreds of years 
and yet as delicate as baby's breathe
as soft as a rose pedal
as transparent as a dragon fly wing

I some times speak out of turn
I some times speak too loud
I more often than not
laugh too loud
way too loud
but I am not ashamed of that
it just sometimes takes me off guard
lol 

I need a certain amount of organization
in my world
nothing too over the top
but everything needs a home
this is important for my brain...
and my breathing 

I speak my mind, my heart, my soul...
I challenge with my words
I strive to be free with them
to not be attached to the outcome
they ignite

my biggest fear is not death
my biggest fear is not being heard
I am learning to walk with this fear
to hold it's hand and say
"it's okay to be afraid
it means you are alive"  

I am a simple girl
who takes stalk in simple pleasures
good wine
laughter
sister-friends
the ocean
the forest
a bear hug from my love
a kiss from my man child
a laugh with my scientist 
snail mail
breathing
good decaf coffee
honey...
just to name a few

I am light
I am dark
I burn deep
and cool slowly

I am a roaring river
and a still pond
I am the earth
I am the wind
I am the east
the west
the north
the south
I am  

        Love and Light my lovelies
have a wonderful weekend xo