She was born into the depth of despair in a place and time
where her mother was forced to leave her
forbidden to take her home...
For in the mothers house
there breathed a curse
One that held the women of that blood line
in darkness.
They had been cut off from their true selves
from their sacred gifts
from their divine callings
and they had forgotten
who they were. And over time frustration and anger had taken the place of what was and the child's grandmother was the angriest of them all. She would not allow her daughter to bring this child one born our of wed-lock into their home and she turned away from the child and held her daughter at bay until the day the child was born and left and forgotten.
But the mother of the child did not forget She remembered hoping one day this child would return and break the curse that lay upon her family. * The child was taken in by another family one in which the woman of the house was barren and longed for children So the child became the last of 4 and began her life far away from where she came. *
The child was as vibrant as her hair and as wild she challenged the tidy life of her parents often stoking the anger that burned inside her father fro his own tormented past. It was not long before the child realized she had a companion... one of a darker nature. At first she found comfort in this darkness but soon as she grew the darkness grew from friend to foe and seemed to have a hold on her taking her into the depths of despair just like those before her To the outside world she looked happy but inside raged a war In adolescence the war at times became so intense, swirling with the burning anger of her father and it almost seemed to much for her to take and she longed for death. She did not understand what or why these things were happening to her And yet in the darkness of her hiding place she would hear a voice whispering to her from a place she did not yet know... "Don't give up Don't give up Don't give up." So she would live to face another day. As she grew into an adult she accepted her companion as the way it was Feeling as if it was stitched to her being she learned to live with it. As a young adult she ignored it distract herself from it self medicate and day-dreamed of something else. But it remained pulling her down any chance it could and when she was alone her mind would hurt pulling her this way and that. Torturing her very soul And she wondered when would it end and she wondered how. *
And then that day came when death brought to her new life and she began to awaken For indeed she had not been dead as she had thought She had only been asleep. And as she awoke to the world around her she began to heal she began to light seek and by doing so she gained strength and knowledge and wisdom So much so she began to not only be a light chaser she also to on the role of shadow stalker stalking her own shadows finding our their secrets and learning their language. And every year that past she felt her self coming back to her true essence One with out curses of the past One that did not cling to old habits old ways of dealing One that was free from all that had been with her the curse of her blood line and burn of her fathers anger the confusion of a warrior mind. And soon without her even realizing the despair was gone the darkness lifted. And it was then she realized that indeed it had been her who had clung to the darkness it had been her who had clung to the despair for it had been all she had known and it seemed safe in it familiarity... And as this unfolding was happening she had a dream in which she was visited by an ancient of her blood line This woman her great great great grandmother told her of how this line had been broken and cursed how the woman of her past had been shamed from their gifts how they had forgotten and by doing so had replaced all that was good with a longing and emptiness bringing in the darkness of despair. She went on to show the child that she had been the one to break the curse to set them all free. That though she had suffered it was not for naught there had been purpose there had been reason. She took the girls hands, now a woman holding them and caressing them telling her, her lifes purpose showing her the gifts she held infusing her with the power of her ancestors and all those who stood with her. Never could she have imagined the possibility of such freedom and yet her heart knew all this to be true. *
The child, now a woman, did eventually seek out her birth mother to let her know of the freedom to let her know all was well to let her know she loved her and was not angry And the birth mother wept at such news and let the freedom wash over her as best she could for her heart had been broken and scared so deeply. But to see her daughter with the hair of flames and eyes black as coal set a part of her free unlocked a piece of her that she had hidden away. *
No curse is too strong for Love to over come For it was Love that had whispered to the girl in the darkness It was Love that gave her just enough light for the step she was on It was Love that held her and guided her when she was lost and confused I was Love the coaxed her to keep searching for the birth mother It was Love that carried them both It was Love Divine Love's Kiss that awoke her spirit and brought her back to the land of the living The Land of the Living Free. *
I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair, and cut my skin
I try everything, to make them see me
But all they see, is someone that's not me
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
[Verse 2]
Here inside, my quiet hell
You cannot hear, my cries for help
I try everything, to make them see me
But every one, sees what I can't be
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
[Bridge]
Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
It's almost believable
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
