with hair that danced like fire
and eyes are dark as coal
She was born into the depth of despair
in a place and time
in a place and time
where her mother was forced to leave her
For in the mothers house
there breathed a curse
One that held the women of that blood line
in darkness.
They had been cut off from their true selves
from their sacred gifts
from their divine callings
and they had forgotten
who they were.
And over time frustration and anger
had taken the place
of what was
and the child's grandmother
was the angriest of them all.
She would not allow
her daughter to bring this child
one born our of wed-lock
into their home
and she turned away from the child
and held her daughter at bay
until the day the child was born
and left
and forgotten.
But the mother of the child
did not forget
She remembered
hoping one day
this child would return
and break the curse
that lay upon her family.
*
The child was taken in by another family
one in which the woman of the house
was barren
and longed for children
So the child became the last of 4
and began her life
far away from where she came.
*
The child was as vibrant as her hair
and as wild
she challenged the tidy life of her parents
often stoking the anger
that burned inside her father
fro his own tormented past.
It was not long before the child
realized she had a companion...
one of a darker nature.
At first she found comfort in this darkness
but soon
as she grew
the darkness grew from friend to foe
and seemed to have a hold on her
taking her into the depths of despair
just like those before her
To the outside world
she looked happy
but inside
raged a war
In adolescence the war at times
became so intense,
swirling with the burning anger
of her father
and it almost seemed to much
for her to take
and she longed for death.
She did not understand what or why
these things were happening to her
And yet
in the darkness of her hiding place
she would hear a voice
whispering to her
from a place she did not yet know...
"Don't give up
Don't give up
Don't give up."
So she would live to face another day.
As she grew into an adult
she accepted her companion
as the way it was
Feeling as if it was stitched to her being
she learned to live with it.
As a young adult
she ignored it
distract herself from it
self medicate and
day-dreamed of something else.
But it remained
pulling her down
any chance it could
and when she was alone
her mind would hurt
pulling her this way and that.
Torturing her very soul
And she wondered when would it end
and she wondered how.
*
And then that day came
when death brought to her new life
and she began to awaken
For indeed she had not been dead
as she had thought
She had only been asleep.
And as she awoke
to the world around her
she began to heal
she began to light seek
and by doing so
she gained strength
and knowledge
and wisdom
So much so
she began to not only be a light chaser
she also to on the role of shadow stalker
stalking her own shadows
finding our their secrets
and learning their language.
And every year that past
she felt her self
coming back to her true essence
One with out curses of the past
One that did not cling to old habits
old ways of dealing
One that was free
from all that had been with her
the curse of her blood line
and burn of her fathers anger
the confusion of a warrior mind.
And soon
without her even realizing
the despair was gone
the darkness lifted.
And it was then she realized
that indeed
it had been her who had clung to the darkness
it had been her who had clung to the despair
for it had been all she had known
and it seemed safe
in it familiarity...
And as this unfolding was happening
she had a dream
in which she was visited by an ancient
of her blood line
This woman
her great great great grandmother
told her of how this line had been broken and cursed
how the woman of her past had been shamed
from their gifts
how they had forgotten
and by doing so
had replaced all that was good
with a longing
and emptiness
bringing in the darkness of despair.
She went on to show the child
that she had been the one to break the curse
to set them all free.
That though she had suffered
it was not for naught
there had been purpose
there had been reason.
She took the girls hands,
now a woman
holding them and caressing them
telling her, her lifes purpose
showing her the gifts she held
infusing her with the power of her ancestors
and all those who stood with her.
Never could she have imagined
the possibility of such freedom
and yet
her heart knew
all this to be true.
*
The child,
now a woman,
did eventually seek out her birth mother
to let her know
of the freedom
to let her know
all was well
to let her know
she loved her and was not angry
And the birth mother wept
at such news
and let the freedom wash over her
as best she could
for her heart had been broken
and scared so deeply.
But to see her daughter
with the hair of flames
and eyes black as coal
set a part of her free
unlocked a piece of her
that she had hidden away.
*
No curse is too strong for Love to over come
For it was Love that had whispered to the girl
in the darkness
It was Love that gave her just enough light
for the step she was on
It was Love that held her and guided her
when she was lost and confused
I was Love the coaxed her
to keep searching for the birth mother
It was Love that carried them both
It was Love
Divine Love's Kiss
that awoke her spirit
and brought her back
to the land of the living
The Land of the Living Free.
*
Love and Light
And over time frustration and anger
had taken the place
of what was
and the child's grandmother
was the angriest of them all.
She would not allow
her daughter to bring this child
one born our of wed-lock
into their home
and she turned away from the child
and held her daughter at bay
until the day the child was born
and left
and forgotten.
But the mother of the child
did not forget
She remembered
hoping one day
this child would return
and break the curse
that lay upon her family.
*
The child was taken in by another family
one in which the woman of the house
was barren
and longed for children
So the child became the last of 4
and began her life
far away from where she came.
*
The child was as vibrant as her hair
and as wild
she challenged the tidy life of her parents
often stoking the anger
that burned inside her father
fro his own tormented past.
It was not long before the child
realized she had a companion...
one of a darker nature.
At first she found comfort in this darkness
but soon
as she grew
the darkness grew from friend to foe
and seemed to have a hold on her
taking her into the depths of despair
just like those before her
To the outside world
she looked happy
but inside
raged a war
In adolescence the war at times
became so intense,
swirling with the burning anger
of her father
and it almost seemed to much
for her to take
and she longed for death.
She did not understand what or why
these things were happening to her
And yet
in the darkness of her hiding place
she would hear a voice
whispering to her
from a place she did not yet know...
"Don't give up
Don't give up
Don't give up."
So she would live to face another day.
As she grew into an adult
she accepted her companion
as the way it was
Feeling as if it was stitched to her being
she learned to live with it.
As a young adult
she ignored it
distract herself from it
self medicate and
day-dreamed of something else.
But it remained
pulling her down
any chance it could
and when she was alone
her mind would hurt
pulling her this way and that.
Torturing her very soul
And she wondered when would it end
and she wondered how.
*
And then that day came
when death brought to her new life
and she began to awaken
For indeed she had not been dead
as she had thought
She had only been asleep.
And as she awoke
to the world around her
she began to heal
she began to light seek
and by doing so
she gained strength
and knowledge
and wisdom
So much so
she began to not only be a light chaser
she also to on the role of shadow stalker
stalking her own shadows
finding our their secrets
and learning their language.
And every year that past
she felt her self
coming back to her true essence
One with out curses of the past
One that did not cling to old habits
old ways of dealing
One that was free
from all that had been with her
the curse of her blood line
and burn of her fathers anger
the confusion of a warrior mind.
And soon
without her even realizing
the despair was gone
the darkness lifted.
And it was then she realized
that indeed
it had been her who had clung to the darkness
it had been her who had clung to the despair
for it had been all she had known
and it seemed safe
in it familiarity...
And as this unfolding was happening
she had a dream
in which she was visited by an ancient
of her blood line
This woman
her great great great grandmother
told her of how this line had been broken and cursed
how the woman of her past had been shamed
from their gifts
how they had forgotten
and by doing so
had replaced all that was good
with a longing
and emptiness
bringing in the darkness of despair.
She went on to show the child
that she had been the one to break the curse
to set them all free.
That though she had suffered
it was not for naught
there had been purpose
there had been reason.
She took the girls hands,
now a woman
holding them and caressing them
telling her, her lifes purpose
showing her the gifts she held
infusing her with the power of her ancestors
and all those who stood with her.
Never could she have imagined
the possibility of such freedom
and yet
her heart knew
all this to be true.
*
The child,
now a woman,
did eventually seek out her birth mother
to let her know
of the freedom
to let her know
all was well
to let her know
she loved her and was not angry
And the birth mother wept
at such news
and let the freedom wash over her
as best she could
for her heart had been broken
and scared so deeply.
But to see her daughter
with the hair of flames
and eyes black as coal
set a part of her free
unlocked a piece of her
that she had hidden away.
*
No curse is too strong for Love to over come
For it was Love that had whispered to the girl
in the darkness
It was Love that gave her just enough light
for the step she was on
It was Love that held her and guided her
when she was lost and confused
I was Love the coaxed her
to keep searching for the birth mother
It was Love that carried them both
It was Love
Divine Love's Kiss
that awoke her spirit
and brought her back
to the land of the living
The Land of the Living Free.
*
Love and Light
You wild haired vibrant child of the land of love and light.
ReplyDeleteSo endearing and enduring! And it is a story of a happy ending. Or shall I say, beginning.
This one deserves a stamped envelope with so much more to say. xx
oh I can't wait!!!!
Deletewell I can
but lets just say I am excited♥
love and light
It's a hell of a lot harder to break the mold than it is to stay in it. Stand strong in the hard work you've done.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found your blog.
thank you Brandi
Deleteit has been a journey for sure
no regrets
thank for being here
love and light
Wow! that was beautiful and powerful.
ReplyDeletethank you sister♥
Deletelove and light
Thank you for sharing ❤
ReplyDelete"No curse is too strong for Love to over come"
amen.
xoxo
&heart;♥♥
Deletelove and light
amazing.. and so beautifully written. xoxo ~ glynis
ReplyDeletethank you sister
Delete♥
love and light
Profound, healing and inspirational...beautifully written sister and a great reminder that love heals everything. S. xx
ReplyDeleteindeed it does♥
Deletemiss you
love and light
Oh, Cat, how beautifully written, profound and encouraging. You are such an inspiration!! Thank you for sharing. xoxo p.s. I love the transitions you captured in the photos, dark and frozen to the radiant, brilliant light of a fresh beginning.
ReplyDeleteMandy! thanks for seeing the transition...it was intentional
Delete♥
love and light
Just beautiful Cat, you are...
ReplyDeletexoxo
♥♥♥
Deletelove you MJ
love and light
What a journey Cat! Love your photographs with it too xx
ReplyDeletewe all have our road to walk S
Deletethanks for reading
love and light
A beautiful telling of an incredible journey. It is encouraging to have hope in the darkness and know that curses can be broken.
ReplyDeleteabsolutely sister!!!!
Deletelove and light
Aho sister soul (I see you here, and I see our shared stories. All love, and all belief in the path)
ReplyDeleteAho..
DeleteI love you deep and wide
love and light
Taken away. <3
ReplyDeleteas you do me Ashley...
Deletelove and light