Well hello 2014....

only 13 days in and we already feel like old friends...

this year has come on hard and fast...

but 
I will not start here

I will back up a bit

for it has been a while

I know

but life is like that

especially with family holidays

or as I called Christmas this year

"These the Holy Nights"

I choose to wrap myself with in my family

whoever would show up

and enjoy

Enjoy that I have them

the montley crew that we are

I choose to be...

and to light candles for these that I love

pray for healing

pray for joy

pray for eased pain

I choose to wait in sacred anticipation

I choose to wish and let go

I choose to be

Indeed these were The Holiest of Night

New Years was brought it with close friends

a good Italian dinner out

kids now old enough to sit at another table

then back to the house to visit and enjoy each other

till it was time to welcome the New Year

and sing Happy Birthday to a special boy

and lite some fireworks

soon after which
 the moms went to bed

while the rest of them stayed up 

into  the wee hours of the morning...

good times

with great people.

And now

here it is

2014

and I walk between two worlds

The world of abundance and blessing

peace and joy

and 

The world of grief and uncertainty

suffering and pain.

Life does not get much more real.

Truth be told

I walk with heavy heart

grief is not easy

but grief is real

and a reflection of my love

for those in my circle who are sick...

"surrogate mom", Yvonne and me

Angela and me

my mom...she has spinal stinosis

Me and Kelly

But along with the grief
there is excitement
and much hope for this year
with those I love
and myself.

Big plans are forming
Space is being created
Things are being let go of
and
Blessings Abound.

My word for this year is
FIERCE
I did not want it when it came
Repeatedly I went back
hoping to find something softer, gentler
The word kept bringing up emotions from a time
when I was told to "simmer down"
when I was "too much"
when my passion-IE: my fierceness
was presented to me as a negative...
and not acceptable.
So on the day
when I went back to see
if perhaps
just maybe 
another word had taken shape
only to find
FIERCE
waiting patiently
with a smile on her face
and an invitation to live in her hand,
a whisper came from deep within me
"this is a part of you...it is time to let it live once more"
and
I surrendered.
I took hold of the invitation to live
and I said yes to FIERCE!

I have to say
I felt a little scared
like
"Holy Shit-Fierce!"
and then

I felt whole

and past emotions and events bubbled up
I looked at them
honoured them
and then
 I let them go.
Because my lovelies
I AM fierce...
fiercely passionate about Living Free
and everything that comes with that!
And I will not deny that part of myself
anymore!

Along with this word 
came direction
"Slow and Steady"

It seemed like a contradiction to me
in a way
But upon moving past the labels
Fierce tends to be tagged with
I saw it made complete sense 
and offered me some containment
and safety...
for FIERCE can be dangerously wild and extremely hot
if not attended to in the necessary way
but with such direction
there is offered
a slow, deep, rich burn
producing an endless source of deep power
that fuels strength, fortitude, and stamina
to face the road ahead.

So I walk with fierceness
at a slow and steady pace.
Opening this year to pouring out my heart
in word, image and paint.

This space will be a place of story and image.
A little different from what it has been.
I will offer
legend and parable
forest tales
and ocean mystery
songs from the wind
and lessons from the earth
I hope you will come by
and indulge your senses
and open your heart
to the guided words of Spirit.

I walk between two worlds
it is where I belong
until the day comes for me to leave this place
here I shall be
here I shall remain...

where have you been called to be
my lovelies?
what word have you been given?

Love and Light