(this three part story chronicles resent events of my life...
taken from my journal and shared
for all those who walk this journey
and ingest the ups and downs
of said journey
deep into their soul)
Broken Down
On this day my world cracked open
on this day the levy broke
On this day
whatever had a hold of me
or
whatever I had a hold of
let go
and a new normal came to be
*
The day started as a good day
which had not always been
as the journey through summer
though good,
had been trying
with jagged rocks and deathly cliffs
So a day that began easy and light
was a welcome day indeed.
I went down to get some work supplies
chatting with the Lovely there
whom I've known for years
When I was taking my leave
she asked me to wait
so she could give me samples
I waited, with great gratitude
as these samples would go down with my
on my next trip to Colombia
and this I told her
when she returned,
bag of goodies in hand.
She smiled and told me that is what she had thought.
She remembered 4 years ago
when I had first gone
and was collecting back then.
i thanked her
and as I drove away
I felt so blessed by her gesture
and as I drove to my next morning destination
I gave my gratitude to God
voiced my thankfulness
and was warmed thru out my body
by the morning sun.
The came my next stop
A place to renew important legal documents
They had not been open for 15 minutes
when i walk in
And already
the air was thick with negativity
(Could people really be this unhappy at the start of their day?)
It went from bad to worse
I felt choked and boxed in
My efforts to stay in my place of joy
were no match for what was in this place....
I spoke with two separate woman
Both cut from the same piece of cardboard
Flat
No Colour
Lacking any Life
And it was all I could do to
not slide down their Rabbit Hole with them
I could not bet out of there quick enough
And as the door closed to my car,
Cocooning me in this familiar space
I Broke Down
Waves and Waves
of uncontrollable emotions bubbled up
and poured out
None of which I could contain
The time of Holding it Together had ended
The cards had scattered
As my body shook.
*
There was more I had to do
but there was no way to do them
I drove home
angels carrying me as I went
for truly
I should not have been behind that wheel.....
more to come....
Love and Light
Although I do not know the life events you are going through, yet, I can feel your words and can identify with it...I feel that "feeling" is more important than "knowing'..I want to convey that people and life events are like the coming and going sea waves and we are like the shore that stands still...the waves may touch us, disrupt us and we may be affected by them but like the shore that stands still, we will not be uprooted from our true self ...
ReplyDeleteWe are together in this soul journey...and so are many other women...by accepting and exposing our vulnerabilities, we become stronger.
take care,
Why does that tend to happen at legal offices? I think it happens because of power and pushing papers that control...Maybe? but I understand how when a tough day or months have happened and women are like that- it triggers uncontrollable weeping. Especially following up on kindness. It enhances the mean and dirty in life somehow and makes it sadder.
ReplyDeleteEven though I do not know about your summer I can understand the feeling behind it...I love this song, very comforting. I am glad you are letting some of your story out in a safe place:)
Love
I understand completely your wanting to run from that office with the two cardboard cutouts, I have spent sometime in those offices where there is no real life only power struggles! But if this was the catalyst for relieving your emotional build-up then you can dust their debris away! I love the the connection here with soulful,strong women who are not afraid to express vulnerability, thank you for your strong presence. xxx
ReplyDeleteLove and Light from one Cat to another
ReplyDeleteI understand about the place of darkness xxx
A necessary breaking for an empath who picks up on energies like that and to that degree. So awful while it's happening and so so scary, feeling out of control, like all the world's voices are shrieking. Out of breakdowns comes breakthroughs. I love your heartsharing. and I love that song. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWhy is it so hard to not go down that rabbit hole...? Why is negativity so much easier than being positive? I have a feeling there is a beautiful end to this story. I sure hope so!:)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and soothing song!
Looking forward to reading the rest of the story. :)
xoxo
OH...oh...my broken Cat! Those places are thick THICK with bad vibes! They're not meant for gentle, caring and lovers-of-life souls like yours. But they are PART of the game we all have to play, and all we can do is pass our smiles, and love and light around and hope that it sticks... You've got a special gift, and maybe your presence rubbed off on one person and awakened something in them, without you even knowing it. Looking forward to the conclusion. Loverly Cat, have a peaceful weekend!
ReplyDeleteLove to you precious friend xxx
ReplyDeletereading... moving to part 2.
ReplyDelete