We choose how we live...

 Last week Friday I was driving over the bridge
heading to my girlfriend, Claire's place,
to do her hair.
She lives just blocks from my dear sister-friend
Angela
the one who is walking with cancer.
I had hoped to pop over to her place after
I was done with Claire's hair
but she was off to an appointment
one of many she attends these days...
This appointment was special.
This appointment would determine if 
the chemo treatments where doing anything
to shrink the tumour that had taken up 
residence in her colon...
causing her to get a colostomy bag in the spring.

So that morning
as I crossed over the bridge
Angela was on my mind and
I reminded myself that I would
send her a text
as soon as I arrived at Claire's.
It was then  I went to my Spirit for guidance and the words I should write...
and as I came over the crest of the bridge
high about the river in the morning fog
I heard these words
"Catherine,
you do not get to choose how you die
but you get to choose how you live."
Tears
Tears reflecting the knowing of the truth
the sacred truth in those words
Tears as I thought of my Angela and her husband getting ready to go to this telling appointment
Tears in the AWE of her spirit, her conviction, her willingness to believe that all will be as it is meant to be and no matter what the out come, all will be ok.
Tears because of the beauty and the fragility of life
Tears because we are so held, so loved, so cared for
we only need ask and believe.

the following is taken from Angela's blog
about said appointment:

It has been a very long day and an even longer evening.  I attended an informative session tonight on Cancer and Diet (specifically the Gerson Diet) and although a fruitful one, my head is exploding with new information and the task of doing more research.  I am very tired which always makes me emotional but also because the implication of what I “could” have heard today and what I heard instead, is only hitting me now. 

I was blessed with good news regarding the CT Scan results.  The Cancer has not spread!

There is no measurable tumour remaining visible in my colon (this was the rascal that started it all).  Unfortunately, even though it may have shrunk, it left behind a heck of a mess. But even the mess seems to have some positive results.  The multiple masses on the lining of my abdominal cavity have decreased significantly in size and the metastasis on my liver and right sacral bone (which is the large triangular bone at the base of the lower spine) have decreased in size as well.  The accumulation of fluid that was in my abdominal cavity has also resolved itself. 

The chemo has been exhausting and a struggle, but at least I know now that it is working.  The juicing, the diet change, the exercise are also key to this success.  What I need to do is incorporate additional holistic herbs and healing to help keep the good cells healthier and keep me strong.  I will be scheduled for another CT Scan in 10 weeks and we will see again how much progress is made.

Thank you for your love and prayers and your unending support and positive motivation... I KNOW that I could not have gotten this far without them. 

A very special friend told me “We don’t get to choose how we die.  But we do get to choose how we live.”  I made my choice, I am doing it now and I am ever so grateful and thankful.  I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.

Angela xox

(Sat. Oct. 19) 

We don't get to choose how we die...
But we get to choose how we live

My dear friend is such a reflection of that reality
6 months ago the doctors told her
to say goodbye to her kids
today
who knows
but the truth is
she is alive and living
and my lovelies
that is the happy ending.
*

The other scenario is not so bright
my "mom"
is not coping so well
she has already given up
Yes, she is going through the motions of life
but she is not living
When I suggest looking into the diet the Angela is on
she shrinks up her nose
and does not hear me any more.
She has long been residing in the anger stage
and there is no sign of her leaving...
not without a swift kick in the butt
Am I the one to give her that kick?
It's hard to say
All I know is that right now
I am so sad
and broken inside
because she has given up
on herself
her life
and essentially
those who love her.

This is just me unfolding these pieces of my life
right now 
beauty and pain
as we walk hand in hand in...

This coming weekend,
hold on to holiness of these words my lovelies...

We do not get to choose how we die
But we so get to choose how we live

tomorrow I head down to P0rtland to gather
with Pixie Campbell and some other sisters of SouLodge 
for me,  THATS living well : )

Live well my lovelies
Live well

Love and Light

*check out my 2014 Animal Medicine Calendar here*