Every time I come here, I re-read my header as a reminder of what I am doing here, and why I am doing this. Sometimes when life gets busy it can be easy to forget...
and I don't want to forget.
Yesterday I read a post by a lovely bloggy friend Rain...a post called "back to your heart". In it Rain posed the question,
" When life gets in the way,how do you get back to your heart?"
The timing of the question was perfect for me.
After an emotionally challenging week I felt depleted by the end.
Thus everything kicked into a slower gear.
I found it difficult to focus, stay on track, energy was lacking.
Fortunately and unfortunately we had made plans to make our way our into the forest for a couple nights of camping.
But packing up takes time and energy, so again I felt there was not enough time to do those things that I need to center myself and come back into me.
The more I thought about what I needed and wanted to do, the more I felt the separation.
But upon coming home a realization of the reality of ebb and flow came back to me. Rain's question prompted this clarity.
The reality of seasons within seasons.
The reality of mother and wife.
The reality of duty and service.
The reality of living a real life in real time.
We all do our best.
I do my best...and that is a wonderful thing...NOT something that needs to be looked at again and again and again.
Something that just is.
It is me that holds me prisoner....
Thinking I need to be more.
Thinking I need to push harder.
Thinking I need to be all.
It is me who puts those expectations on myself...no one else.
So yesterday, upon returning home, I released myself of those things and gave myself a day of rest. Occasionally a pang of guilt would cross over my heart, but I did not reach out and grab hold of it, I let it keep walking.
I came back to myself...
it really wasn't that hard
I was standing here the whole time.
Be kind to you
Love and Light
(the teenager showed me this video, last night, from one of our local bands...appropriate)