all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Monday, 13 May 2013

Mondays Offering...Endure


It was Mothers Day yesterday...
I would love to report a beautiful story
but that would not be the truth.
The ebb and flow felt like a wild river
with fast flowing rapids
while the occasional peaceful pool  
waited to hold me close at the earth's shore.

and it was exactly what I needed to read
it allowed the grief and regret 
 to rise the top and be acknowledged. 
It gave me a word to help find my focus
Endure  


On Saturday I received the sad news
that one of my mom's has been diagnoised
with a rare form of blood cancer
only 23 cases in NorthAmerica
That on the heels of being out for dinner with a girlfriend
on Monday and speaking with her
about her diagnosis
of cancer.
She
43
a mama of two
a wife and a daughter 
to a mama who lives with her.
Two very dear women in my life
two kinds of journeys
two kinds of fights 
I will be what it is
they need me to be.
and in this grief
of what is
I can and will  
Endure 
so they can do the same.

We had a luncheon here yesterday
My mom
My oldest with his dad
my husband
my youngest

The youngest was grumpy
and out of sorts
due to two late nights
and the oldest
well
the oldest lives in his own world right now
and yesterday
yesterday I lost my rooting
I had a hard time holding on to the steady of my resolve
I felt bashed around between hard rocks
as cold water tossed me about
my head hurt
my heart sank
yesterday I did not feel my own strength
it was lost to me.
But in the dawn of this new day
I realize
I see
and I remember
my strength once again
and slowly today
I will work through my regret 
and feel my roots again.
I
Endure.



All was not lost
there was the peaceful pools
there was love felt
thoughts of friends from afar
danced in my heart this weekend
Fondness and memories
Thank you friend
I love you.


A marriage strong
love deep
an appreciation of one another
consideration
friendship
a unity of steadfast love
and commitment
Thank you husband
I love you


A night at a best friends
years of roads traveled
making together the most comfortable thing
laughter
sharing
planning
Sisters of the Heart
Thank you friend   
I love you

A gathering of Sisters
 always feeding the Soul
grounding ones psyche
Thank you my Sisters of Light
I love you  



A little voice
calling from the bedroom
mama I am sorry
mama please
mama will you make eggs in the morning?
mama will you forgive me
mama I love you


yes baby
I know you are sorry
go to sleep now, you are tired
yes baby
I will make eggs in the morning
Of course I forgive you
you are just tired
go to sleep now
I love you


Endure
my lovelies
Endure
as only we, as women, can.


now I am off to make some eggs.....
Love and Light      


27 comments:

  1. holding you and the women in your life with such challenges ahead, in my heart. you will endure of that I have no doubt. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you my sister...for everything you have said here.....
      love and light

      Delete
  2. Cat, I don't know what it is lately when you write..but I cry every time. Thankyou for this safe haven this morning... Such incredibly hard news to find out loved ones are sick...and scary sick.. lots of fear attached to cancer. that book I have been talking about.. if you feel drawn to it, I want to highly recommend it. Anita Moorjani.. Dying to be Me. So many amazing truths she shares... great big gorgeous nuggets of wealth and truth..about sickness.. about life... about living.

    Loves to you today. Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maybe it is because I am writing straight from my heart and you are feeling it friend : )
      thanks you for the suggestion of the book...I may pick it up as it keeps coming into my life. I do want to say I am not afraid of cancer or what it brings, it is just the "new normal" that takes time to adjust to and the possibilities of a life ending becomes that much more real....
      I did comment about the book on your blog
      I think....I know it is one I would love ♥
      love you
      love and light

      Delete
  3. Before endure/endurance meant walking through something difficult, keep moving, keep plodding along. But now I can see endurance as something more. There is still life, love and beauty to be felt as we endure. Its not just about getting through. I see this as I read your words and watch how you live your life. Thanks for your encouragement and example my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh sister
      I love how you can read deeply into my words and see me there
      thank you for that
      and yes
      there is still life
      beautiful life full of love and joy and adventure

      love and light

      Delete
  4. Awww friend that is some bad news :(
    Much love to you and those mummas xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you lovely

      love and light

      Delete
  5. Keep strong, hold tight, anchor in any pool of happiness.
    So many thoughts and love to your mother.
    A hug for you.

    You can do this.

    xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes I can : )
      thanks Ashley

      love and light

      Delete
  6. You are a fiercely enduring spirit. Sorry for your heart ache, good energy and prayer sent your way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will take those words and stitch them into my truth
      thank you

      love and light

      Delete
  7. Endure. The word that must work. I hope it works. For I too, am going through a similar challenge with a loved one who was diagnosed.
    It seems its all around us, Cat, this shitty shitty cancer!
    You're one beautiful mama, wife, sister, friend. I send you hugs from afar, a knowing smile and lotsa love & light, calmness, sunshine and owls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it does work
      it will work
      no matter what the out come
      as we all die...in different ways
      I think it is more about how we die and in reflection how we live that matters so much
      hugs to you too sister as you face a similar challenge...I have to tell you that when I read that I felt a little lighter as it so helps to know we don't journey alone...I never tire of knowing that : )
      much love my friend
      love and light

      Delete
  8. Awww - my friend. Sometimes life is just not fair is it?? We can face such trials and feel so much uncertainty. I hear ya friend! Thinking of you...Suey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you Suey
      life is an unexpected journey....

      love and light

      Delete
  9. So very profound. Endure. Everyone has something or someone that they have to endure for and you pick yourself up and do it. Hugs to you beautiful one, you will indeed endure and continue to flow with the energy of the Universe. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes...
      I like those words...continue to flow...that is exactly what I am doing...continuing to flow and ebb with all that is this life
      thank you Mandy
      I so appreciate your words
      love and light

      Delete
  10. As you say 'peaceful pools of friendship' mean so much when your endurance is put to the test. I have been so grateful when I have felt 'knocked about among the rocks', to have felt the love and understanding here with the sisters.

    Always feel the connection from oversees, the oneness of spirit,
    love, light and big hugs to you Cat. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes
      the "Oneness of Spirit" is undeniable
      I am thankful for that
      I am thankful for all the words given to me here, by sisters....by kindred hearts...by women of wisdom
      it is a balm
      giving me strength....
      Endure
      yes
      I shall endure

      Love and Light

      Delete
  11. Ah, that kind of news does make the heart heavy. So thankful for the gift of resting in Jesus and thankful that He wants to carry our burdens.
    You are such an INCREDIBLE mother. I have seen that with my own eyes. You radiate love, even through tough stuff. And your boys know it.
    Glad that you got the cards. A bit of love and encouragement.
    You are a light.
    Love xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what a friend we have in Jesus....truly
      and what a friend I have in you♥

      love and light

      Delete
  12. I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. You have really been surrounded this year... I hope that there are more moments of respite and rest because you are in the midst of so much pain. I think warrior ladies like you blessed with wisdom often are.
    I'm glad that in the end your little man saw what he needed to see... A beautiful mother to love.
    Loving you today
    Love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. always moments my friend..some of intention and some gifted
      thank you for your loving words
      you are a crystal

      love and light

      Delete
  13. Endure, as You adapt to the new flow and the new window. Cancer comes so sudden, like a window thrown open and the cold wind hits the face. Hard to navigate. Strength & Love to You & Yours in this Time.
    My Mother's Day was a train-wreck, in which I realized no matter my frustration, sadness & rage I could not change the tracks of the Day. In the nightfall it settled. My photographer friend Nicholas came to my door out of the blue late at night and sat with my Family. I somehow also made eggs as promised to my Wee Ones in the morning.
    Reading Your words had me smiling so at that. Please know You are in my thoughts. All the Love to You & Yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sorry your mother's day was a train wreck my sister....but so glad when a friend comes and puts the cars back on the track....
      thank you for holding me in your thoughts...as I do you
      the window is wide open and I am bundled up in that kind of love to help me endure the cold reality of cancer

      love and light

      Delete

Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light