did you press play?
another of his songs
first take
all him
what would we do if we had a time machine
really?
what would we change
Last week I took him for lunch
to my favorite little pub
tucked away down by the river
beside the train tracks
it used to be a bank...way back when
1811 to be exact
in the '70s it was turned into a pub
loads of character
big windows looking out over the river
history on every wall
a girlfriend texted while I was there
I told here where I was...
"you're where?
with Nate?"
yes he is 19...
As a mom
I can look back and indulge
in thoughts of time machines
and
if I knew then what I knew now
but
if I am honest
heart bearing honest
I did my best
with what I had
when it was
never perfect
but always present
never perfect
but always present
and all I have left
is a crazy love
that is never wavered
even when he is 19 year old selfish
or inconsiderate
even when he makes choices
that makes my eyebrow raise
even when....
this love just can't be killed
and moments like this day
are better than any riches the world has
"mom...whats with the braids?"
"mom...what's with the camera?"
"can you send me the pictures?"
mom
The roads he and I have traveled
and it's not over yet
just different...
crazy love
unconditonal
never to be done
time machine?
no
not for me
I am good where we have gone
I am even better with
where we are going...
"mom...this is awesome
its my new favorite pub!"
"I knew you would like it"
time machine anyone?
love and light
I love all the pictures! What a stunning glimpse into your fruitful life. Yes , sometimes the yearning for the time machine but you know what is odd? Sometimes I have that similar sad yearning right in the moment I love... And I know it's my future self looming back on this perfect moment and aching for it...
ReplyDeleteI think too much...
But sometimes I feel that tinge of longing for home right when I'm in it.
Thanks for sharing!
Heart melted. Oh Cat, this is so precious. I love his smile and yours. And what a cool pub!
ReplyDeleteCatherine Denton
P.S. I'm having a brain freeze on whether or not I sent money. Would you remind me where it was to be sent to? Think I can check my past transactions and see.
ReplyDeletelove it.
ReplyDeleteTime machine hey? that's a tough one, rough days yes, heart days never. x
this really hit me, the music playing, your man-child's talent, seeing all the gorgeous pictures. you both look amazing. this is such an intimate and beautiful post. I can SO feel the love. i wouldn't go back if I had a time machine, well, maybe for an hour or two ;) xoxo
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Love the pictures and the story! You have precious gift—your son! How wonderful to spend an afternoon with him!
ReplyDeleteHey Minnie D. With the braids! Niiiice sista.
ReplyDeleteA pub by the tracks?? My kind of place! Love to hear that lonesome whistle blow....
You guys look bright and shiny and happy.
Life is good, isn't it Cat my friend.
XO
Love the song, so much heart. Don't you just love the wonder, of how our relationships evolve with them, and their lives, like being in the passenger seat all to sudden, but so right.
ReplyDeletei've been thinking of you and wondering when you're leaving. must be just around the corner huh?
ReplyDeletetime machines... ah. i think it a testament to our love for them that we do ache to get it perfect. and it is love for ourselves and the folly of this life that we accept that we don't.
My time machine comes tomorrow with his little pink baby bundle, we are celebrating his birthday, he's actually my baby still and all though he's 6' 5" I still try to fit him on my knee!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you x
My mother's heart has ached many times for my children as they were in the past, but a time machine would not be good for me because I want to let get in a very healthy way and need to live in the present. Its funny I had a dream just this past week of my son being 10 years younger. In the dream I thought, I wish he was still like that, but then I corrected myself and said no, I like the stage he is at now too. Its equally as great, just different. I love Nate's song and the pictures of your lunch. I am so glad he can express himself through music, that is a beautiful gift.
ReplyDeleteI just smiled and smiled through this post!! Time machine indeed.. lol... wow!! I can't even imagine having lunch and a beer with my son yet.. I love this!! Enjoying listening to faded city as I type this out.. tell your son well done!!
ReplyDeletea mother's love it's a fierce thing xxx
ReplyDeleteLove This. Mother Love & Child Love. His Voice so Raw and Open with Emotion, so Good. The Best Music has All of those Components.
ReplyDeleteI am early on the Journey of Mother in this cycle. I try to cherish the small hands and sweet voices in my Days & Nights. Knowing there will be a Time all too soon where the dynamics will change. Just True & Real Love. Thank You for Sharing This.