(Something sacred happened to me while running with the wolves, for now I keep that for myself and my sisters in the lodge...)
I have arrived at the lake. The Unicorn and Doves await me there...and something else...someone else is there. My dad.
My conscious self wants to see him in the familiar, but he has other plans. My dad has been gone from this life for 12 years. This past year I went through a huge shift of Forgiveness. Since then I am encountering him more and more, it is quite awesome. He comes to me now as a "close to" middle aged man, the same age as myself.
It is an emotional exchange with the Unicorn looking on. He tells me it was not his plan to become the father he became. That he too had plans to be something different, as we all do. ..."the best laid plans" he says....
He is sorry, he is crying, he is on his knees before me.
I am confused and try to lift him from his knees.
"I have forgiven you!" I tell him.
" I know this." He says to me, "but I wanted you to see me like this. I wanted you to see that I was young once too, with Hopes and Dreams. I wanted you to see the side of me you did not know."
Again I try to reassure him, but this is not at all what he needs. He has come for me, to give me this. He came to further that forgiveness, so I can be completely Free...so I can grow in Trust. he tells me this with his eyes, his heart.
I still feel a bit confused, and overwhelmed. The pouring out of this medicine, this gift is so huge...nothing I expected or even dreamed of.
I tell him I need him.
He gets up from his knees and says to me," No you don't."
He looks out to All that have gathered and he waves his hand out to show me.
The Wolf Pack
He reminds me of the Sacred Encounter on the trails.
He says to me, " You never did....not in the way I wanted you to anyways, and that was hard for me."
There is a stirring among the animals, I feel it.
More life reveals itself around me...frogs start coming out of the lake.
Up above there is movement.
A Giffion comes down and I feel a host of birds that are about to follow.
This is where I ask Spirit to slow things down, that right now I need to keep it simple...there is so much inside me and I am not sure I can handle much more. I feel the thousands of birds of prey circling in the sky above, I don't look up, I don't see them, but I feel them...
and I hear them calling out.
just for now
what I have been given feels enough,
more than enough.
A fire was lit and we danced to the sound of the drum...the Native Indian Elder, the same from the trails, was there to provide the drum, the chant.
There was buffalo to eat which had been provided by the White Buffalo who made a brief appearance at the forests edge.
My sisters were there too, dancing with me around the fire...women from all aspects from my life...dancing and celebrating.
We danced and feasted into the night...
When it was time to leave, Ruger, my black-lab-pup, came to get me.
Tail wagging telling me with eyes, it was time to go.
I gave thanks
Followed the pup back up the hillside; back to the hole. This hole into which I entered as a child I now come out as an adult, myself, complete, fully who I am.
With puppy beside me, I came back to myself
with a full heart
and much to ponder upon.
Love and Light
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