Nov. 2,2011 marked 12 years since my dad succumb to his 4th and final battle with cancer.
Loving Husband~Father
Ours was a complicated relationship...not always easy
In amongst the memories of childhood freedom there intertwined moments of uncertainty and fear.
But people grow and hearts soften.
The journey of the last 12 years have done that to me...
changed me and softened my heart
Lesson after lesson
Gift after gift
Layer after layer
Till I was left exposed, and naked.
Atonement = Amends
And so after 12 years
12 beautiful, life giving years
I found myself last Saturday morning
at The Garden of Atonement...to make amends.
I came with coffee, blanket, journal and a dozen roses....
...best of all I came with the forgiving, loving heart of a daughter who misses her dad
Forgiveness
I could have never known how it looked
Until I invited it in...
It was nothing I could have imagined
in my limiting flesh
As everything God...it was quiet and simple
As simple as saying~
I am willing...
I am willing to forgive
Love an Light
O,Your Strength. I am saddened for the loss of Your Father and offer my condolences to You and Yours.
ReplyDeleteThis strikes a chord inside of my very own Heart. Forgiveness.
I buried my Father on October 31st of 2009.
We had not seen nor spoken since I was 16yrs old.
Just weeks before He died, I had hoped to re-connect with him as his wife contacted me. Clear the Harm of the Past. At his funeral she said,"I want You to know, I told him I contacted You and He said it was Time."
Sadly,I never was able to look him in the eye with forgiveness in my Heart. How I struggled to realize the 16 years gone in between as I stood before him at the Wake. Still,after I gave it and let my Heart embrace it. Loving&missing my Father for simply the man He was and I his Daughter.
It is strengthening to read Your words and Your experience. Thank You.
Loves to you xoxo
ReplyDeletexxx - so somehow, I need to find the forgiveness whilst my parent is still alive
ReplyDeleteYour photography is BEAUTIFUL
so glad you had that time and were able to go with your heart full of so much love and forgiveness. xx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words and pictures - I am celebrating your journey and your freedom my friend!
ReplyDeleteLove the photo of you walking in autumn leaves Cat. Sounds like a very good day. Love to you x
ReplyDeleteyour writing is always so spiritual and sacred. this post was touching and moving...and has caused me to examine and reassess some areas of my own heart. much love to you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, challenging, inspiring Cat - may your journey bring you ever closer to all that wholeness and completeness of love offers us. God Bless xxxx
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful, profound and healing. Expect great blessings my dear friend, Love you, Sylvie
ReplyDeleteSo amazingly beautiful and wonderfully freeing. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. A blessing.
ReplyDeletehugs.
How tender and loving. Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey.
ReplyDeleteMy Blog
The willingness is the thing.
ReplyDeleteLove this.
Xo
a