all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Thursday, 21 January 2016

If you want to find me...



 I have been writing...



for what seems like endless hours
moving into endless days
and I am feeling
 especially vulnerable 
along side feeling
a fiery strength of conviction, 
as I  write my heart
lay it down
open and exposed



 that you might find me
that you might see me
that you might know me


so strong am I
so willing
so steady and firm


so fragile am I
so unsure
so timid 
and in this place 


I can be found 
in the mystery of the morning 
when the break of day comes over the land
when the first breath of morning
exhales
and life again begins...

Love and Light and Shadows

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

The Three Signs before Christmas...



The Three Signs

It was a few days before Christmas,

when the signs came my way

I had not asked for them

And I was not expecting them.

They were indeed

an unexpected gift




The First Sign:

I was at Costco picking up some prints.

I go there often and

know the photo shop staff quite well

A young guy is there…maybe late 20’s early 30’s

English accent and I have not seen him before

He steps up to serve me and all is business as usual…

until the end

He looks at me and pauses…

then he asks me if I am spiritual…

There is a moment of hesitation as I find this a peculiar question

the hesitation quickly turns into a smirk as this has happened to me before

and I am curious as to why he is asking…

“yes”

I say with a big smile on my face.

He asks me if he can share something with me.

I say, again, “yes!”

He proceeded to tell me that he sees a big tree….old….

with strong deep roots.

He goes on to say that in 2016 this tree is going to bare much fruit

He says to me,

“all you have been working towards will prosper this coming year.”

I thanked him.

 A slight bow of gratitude and knowing is shared between us

And then I left,

sat in my vehicle

and cried.





The Second Sign:

 This one happened at Winners…the same day

I had to pick up some last minute gifts.

The store is packed but they have all 11 cash registers going

so the line-up is moving quickly.

It was in this line up I experienced an “interesting” exchange

with a very intense, negative woman.

The story is not important

What was important was the familiar buttons her aggressive behaviour

pushed in me

I would say, very clearly and decisively, that she was of the bullying sort.

I watched myself as I did not react but instead

I paused and felt what was rising within me

a very familiar feeling

one that as a child took me over and into intense and sometimes

blinding fear.

I said to myself … “Feel it…sink and breathe into it…it is only a feeling”

I actually allowed it to come up and over my body

as I stood there with a smile on my face…

After this pause within myself,

as she continued on her rant,

I looked directly at her and quietly and calmly

said to her what I needed to say

and moved on.

I felt all the feelings

even the trembling in my belly

But it did not matter

It was not mine to take on or mine to make right

I moved on and left her in her cloud of negativity

as I basked in yet another Divine Sign

I left the store with a huge smile on my face

got in my car

and laughed out loud.







The Third Sign:

…the last one

took place at my home

As a Christmas gift to ourselves we canvased

three of our prints to hang in the living room…

they were the prints I was picking up early at Costco.

Three prints to replace the one.

As we took down the eagle print

there

petrified against the wall

perfectly intact with wings spread

was a beautiful moth.

Now Moth has played an important part in my self love healing

It was Moth who told me some years back

 that I would never understand her

or the part of her within me

 until I stopped longing to be the butterfly.

This was a huge lesson for me.

That I would be wise

to learn about and accept all parts of myself equally

and that, even in what I could not see as beautiful,

there was indeed beauty.

It felt to me,

like this offering was not only a reminder

but a declaration in that I was doing just that…

learning to love all the parts of me

even those parts that


do not seem beautiful to me.




This was an amazing day for me…

I felt seen and loved by Spirit.

I felt The Creator watching over me and blessing me

I felt valued.

These signs…these blessings

helped me face a not so easy Christmas

they helped me walk with ease

one hand holding grief

one hand holding love.



What kinds of miracles 
have you been experiencing?



Love
and Light...
and a Happy and Blessed New Year
xoxoxox






Thursday, 10 December 2015

Grief...in this festive holiday season



I feel a responsibility when the people around me
are heavy with grief.
I feel a responsibility when my community 
is lost in sadness and feeling broken.
I feel a responsibility when the world
is crying out for the injustice
that is happening to the innocent.
I feel there is much I need to do
and some of those things are to 
drum, sing and pray...



with two trusted companions
holding an abundance of unconditional love
I walked out,
drum strapped on back
camera around neck
on a Medicine Woman's Quest



To cry to The Mother
and call to The Father
That they would hear my prayers
Listen to my songs
And be moved by the beat of my drum.



I have felt the grief
coming into this festive season.
There is always some
this time of year is not always the happiest
for some.



But this year it feels heavier...
there has been a lot of deaths this year
personally, communally, and globally
we have all felt it.



I had this exchange with a sister-friend this week:

there seems to be a lot of grief coming into this holiday season I feel a call for us to be gentle with ourselves and those around us...I feel like we are being called to grieve and in that grief Divinity is celebrating us in a way of seeing our beautiful raw humanity...we grieve because we love...and love is "the way"...not white processed sugar kind of love, but the love that holds light and dark at once
the kind of love that is found deep in the dark rich soil of the earth
the kind of love found in the celestial sparkle of the winter night sky
the kind of love found in a desert oasis...
Divinity is celebrating our being broken open, pouring our...and our BEING...raw and rough...



her response:
I got the exact info into my heart around 1 pm. thanks you for your validation. moon is in scorpio. death and loss and truth will accompany us but so does the light the moon sheds. i feel kali ma coming in too, to destroy falsity. people not used to allowing the grief to be seen or felt will be very irritable. it could be both a wretched and glorious period...



So I walked and I drummed
I sang and I spoke
I prayed and I sought
I laid my heart out
for those who can not
for those who grief and suffering is too great
for them...
for all of us
I called out.



I prayed the we would be guided...
guided to see that the grief we feel
is a reflection of our love..
that it is not something terrible
but something beautiful...



That even in this time of joyous celebration
of gift giving, family and friends
during this time of religious celebration
and honouring
during this time of ancient ritual 
and remembering
There is room and a place for grief.
That we would know we 
are allowed
to feel and even celebrate our grief with others
that our grief is not meant to isolate
but in fact is meant to open us up to each other
as creatures who love and need love
and that in this divine place
there is no room for shame.



We Grieve because we Love
and I, for one, would live a thousand lives with Grief
because I will not live one life without Love.



I don't know what the grief is that sits in your belly
that weighs on your shoulders
that sits heavy in your heart...
but I do know it matters
I do know it is a reflection of your fragile humanness 
your beautiful, stunning, love filled heart
and it is needed here in this place
for it is what connects us all as humans
no matter what our demographic
our social status
our skin tone or race
our religion or spirituality 
our political views
grief is what binds us
and love is the reflection...
and the antidote.



So I invite you dear soul
during this holiday season
feel it all
be it all
don't leave anything out
don't hide
don't pretend
grieve, love, grieve, love, grieve and then love some more
feel the joy this brings your heart
the honouring of that which you no longer have
feel the rawness of truth
and the beauty of honesty
and know
all this can be side by side.



This is an important time for you
this is an important time for our communities
this is an important time for our world...
So many injustices are happening
and never before have we been so plugged in
this can send fear or it can send empowerment.
I believe by honouring grief one can find empowerment
in what is happening around us
realizing that there is always a choice
that we have a voice...
We can start with our selves...
It can begin with us


for the nakedness that is winter
for the raw exposure of our flesh
for our tears and laughter
for our sorrows and joys
remember in this place where grief meets love
we shine
and show others the way
as the moon reflects off of our nakedness....
and illuminates the path...
in the darkness ~CB



You are not alone in your grief
and in it, I invite you to be brave
for you were made for a time such as these 
and there are many who stand with you
What ever that grief may be, how ever big
so is the love that stands with it
and that my friends
is a lot of Love...
and in love
there can be found Joy
and within joy countless other blessings.
*

Know that I stand with you


Grief in one hand...
and Joy in the other
*
This is how I will walk into 2016...
will you join me?

Love and Light

*if you feel the need, write to me your grief and I will hold it through out this season, in sacred honouring,
 releasing it at years end*

note: the moon has since moved into sagittareaus so all the feelings will be fiery and impulsive and potentially the irritability can turn to rage in those who are unaware