all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Monday, 1 April 2013

Mondays offering...Part One of Two

 "I'm With You"

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah-he-yaa, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah!

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...
 the following was written the day I returned
from Colombia....

I have returned
a wearied traveler
back to my home
and to which is familiar
I return from a place of the most amazing beauty
and the most terrible of stories
a place where innocence is fleeting
a place where such things are taken
not lost
a place deep within the mountains
of despair and helplessness
where mothers are not mothers
and fathers do not stand strong
where brothers know not their place
and sisters scream in silence
I have paid witness to stories
given by those brave enough to give
and by those who holds the stories
for children who speak in secret
I am ever changed
not ready to be home
yet here I am
raw and tender
willing to stay on the battle field
willing to stand on blood soak soil
not fully knowing the protocol
but willing
ever so willing to use what I can
upon my return
I entered the forest waiting arms
and breathed in the familiar earth
the spring sun warm upon my skin...
I felt the balm of Mother Earth
as she wrapped herself around me
helping me linger in the scent of yesterday
helping me saturate my mind with
all  that I experienced

I hold on to the tear stained cheeks
mapping out their routes
on dirty faces
the clinging hugs
the gazes that never end
the smiles
of the moment of joy
holding tight to what they have
It is here

I linger
hoping to wash myself
of all that is unclean
yet brand myself deep
with the mark that says 
I was there
I heard you
I seen you
I love you
I miss you
And as my own tears
make their marks
on my face
I remain
whole and broken
in deep silence and reflection
heart aching
 ready to charge...  

coming home was not easy
and everyday brought it's challenges of re-entry
like the buds on my magnolia  tree
the day I arrived home they were closed 
straining for the sun
straining to open
so it was for me
there was so much inside
that I needed to get out
but was unable to do so
in any "normal" fashion
I still can't say 
what that was to look like
I know I struggled for a few days
I ached for my kids
for my sisters
back in Colombia
so much was unpackaged
so much revealed
leaving seemed much too soon
but as my magnolias
each day I opened more
and through the darkness
and the loneliness
of coming home
I came back to life
a re-birth of sorts
as Spring brought new life
all around me.

Today I was reading Women Who run with the Wolves
Chapter 9 Homing-Returning to OneSelf
and there I found my words to explain what I has just experienced...

"The wonder and pain of returning to the wild home place lies in the fact that we can visit, but we cannot stay. No matter how wonderful it is in the deepest home imaginable, we cannot stay under water forever, but must rise back to the surface. Like Ooruk, who is gently placed back on the shore, we come back to our mundane lives infused with new animation. Even so it is a sad moment to be placed back on shore and on our own once 313
This phase of return is called re-entry and it is natal. The feeling of being from an alien world passes after a few hours or a few days. There after, we will spend a good space of time at our mundane life, fueled by the energy we gathered on our journey to home and practicing interim union with soul through the practice of 315
We find ourselves then filled with drum beats, filled with singing, filled with listening and saying our own words; new poems, new ways of seeing, new ways of acting and thinking. Instead of trying to"make the magic last," we just live. Instead of resisting or dreading our chosen work, we move into it fluidly; alive filled with new notions, and curious to see what happens next. After all, the person who has returned to home has survived being carried out to seas by the great seal spirits."pg 316

So I am not making the magic last
I am living
alive with new notions
and curious to see what happens next

Today I wrote 
I haven't since I have come home
I am in full bloom
once again

Love and Light my lovelies
I have missed you

part two


  1. Welcome home. Like the buds, like a shedding horse, like snow melts to a stream, like the sun shining a little brighter...that is you. Renewal in reflection. Glad you're safe.

    1. thank you my it is good to be and sound ♥

  2. That song makes me think of all the broken children, people in this world who really don't have the chances and choices we have. People so victimized. And you went into the trenches and you sat with those broken children and gave them love and hope because you gave them you. You are doing amazing and brave things and in doing those things, you must have felt wrecked when you got home. so much juxtaposition.. take care of you xoxox

    1. that song was how I was feeling when I came back...I realized later and again through your words I was carrying the emotions of those I had been with...Today it will have been a week since I left and I am ready to move forward. Thanks for your encouraging words Nyssa!

  3. Missed you too and am so glad you are home to this other home, but yet honouring both places. It takes time. 13 years later and I still have some faces, moments and gratefulness for toilet paper constantly with me. My dad has it has his second home or his first...and it always torn...I think that is the constant tension when we are involved with more than one culture...there is always a bit of that longing in either one because we belong to both...Kind of like the spiritual and physical world I think. Anyway...glad you are moving am I:) In a totally different way:)

    1. hello my friend! So good to have you drop by. Love your input and lingers doesn't it. I am grateful you understand. love and light

  4. ohhhh I do love your words but that final photo *happy sigh*
    Love n Light

  5. I would love to hear some of your stories of your time in Columbia. Why did you go?

    Glad to have you back. Funny how it feels a little better knowing your back then knowing your gone. I guess it is just comforting to know that a friend has returned from an adventure and is safe at home.

    I have to say I am a little jealous that already things are budding for you. We wont see that for at least another two-three weeks.

    I shalt not covet my neighbours nature! I shalt not covet my neighbours nature! :)

    1. I will definitely be sharing some stories in the coming weeks P...also why did I go? I am a volunteer with Seeds of Love and Hope International Society the organization that funds the center at which I was at for the week. I became involved with them 6 years ago through someone I knew. This was my third trip...everyone being different form the next. My purpose this time was to gather stories and experiences to be put in to a book...written by yours truly....thanks for asking
      Sorry about your delayed winter, guess you guys should move to the coast ; )

      love seeing you here
      love and light

  6. A beautiful and soulful re-entry. You know, it probably won't surprise you, this is one of my all-time favorite Avril songs; I've listened to it hundreds of times. :)

    1. not a surprise at all Miss Catherine
      your soulful woman you!

      love and light

  7. Wow, that passage from the book (that was your book at Wisdom Club, yes?) ... needs to go into every manual for "how to re-enter". It is one of the hardest things to do when you have part of your heart embedded else where. I am trying hard to live in the now... and with the curiosity of when is the "next" and what will it look like for us.

    1. Oh friend You so know how I am feeling....thank you
      I am so glad that passage spoke to you.
      and yes...from the Wisdom Club book : )

      love and light my sister

  8. I love your posts, my friend. A piece of me cringes and wants to pull away from the knowledge that sits between the lines that describe what you saw and heard in Columbia, but love is brave.

    1. and you are beautiful....thank you for your words
      love IS BRAVE!!!

      love and light


Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light