As I slowly return to myself
I am finding my space to write...
There are those thing that are so sacred that the words of our human language are like a faint whisper
barely caressing the truth of such experiences
as the one I just lived.
And there are moments
that must be left to only those who bore witness
because words could never
and would never be able to explain
or give understanding to
what is was that transpired...
That is how I feel about attending Vision Quest Camp....
I had been asked by a sister-friend to be
one of her supporters.
She asked me to hold space for her in the East.
This meant that daily I said prayers for her
as I lay down sacred tobacco onto Mother Earth.
I called in the new day for her,
honouring and giving gratitude
for the new beginning that is allowed each us
in the East.
I prayed for Clarity, Illumination and Wisdom.
I prayed for the winds of change
the breath of life
the subtly of the whisper...
I did this for many many months
and it was an honour...
And as it was
two other sisters of our SouLodge tribe
went up the mountain as well...
this made the coming together
just that much more meaningful.
Along with our 3 SouLodge sisters
there were 4 other women
bringing with them a caliber of supporters
that brought the camp to a place of family.
Upon arriving the first day we were strangers...
We then sent our loved ones up the mountain
with prayers and honouring
and we became community.
Then after the first night
of our loved ones
on the mountain
and with raw emotions running high
we became family.
My week spent in this exceptional place
for this extraordinary event was filled with so much sacred.
When one is in continual ceremony for 5 days
encounters run deep and meaningful
small talk is non-existant
and honesty is worn like casual clothing.
I witnessed my own sons rite of passage
as he found his own tribe mates
and with that new connection
offered an elder tobacco so the kids could expereince
a sweat lodge, just for them.
I watched from afar as he tended fire
and handled the stones
for the sacred ceremony...
I noticed how after the first night
her would not sit with me again in the TeePee.
But sat comfortable on his own
in the circle
listening to the wisdom that was shared with all.
I watched him laugh and burst with joy
in a place that on the first day
he told me he did not belong...
I spent time alone...in tearfilled prayer
under a juniper tree
with my feet on sacred ground...
so moved I was with gratitude
for being where I was
living this life
and living it awake.
There was special moments
and words shared with brothers
and sisters
Some new
some like old friends of a past
long before this life began.
But like I said earlier
some of these things
are too sacred to put to words
and those who I stood with
know what it is I say
not in way of exclusion
but by way of honouring
the deep magic that was shared.
I will say this
we, as a people, are good.
When we come together
because of Love...
even while, maybe not fully understanding,
but showing up anyways,
great things happen.
I witnessed many different peoples
coming together from many different walks
and uniting under a banner of
Love and Honouring
for someone dear.
And together we held each other;
Supported each other
That is how I feel about attending Vision Quest Camp....
I had been asked by a sister-friend to be
one of her supporters.
She asked me to hold space for her in the East.
This meant that daily I said prayers for her
as I lay down sacred tobacco onto Mother Earth.
I called in the new day for her,
honouring and giving gratitude
for the new beginning that is allowed each us
in the East.
I prayed for Clarity, Illumination and Wisdom.
I prayed for the winds of change
the breath of life
the subtly of the whisper...
I did this for many many months
and it was an honour...
And as it was
two other sisters of our SouLodge tribe
went up the mountain as well...
this made the coming together
just that much more meaningful.
Along with our 3 SouLodge sisters
there were 4 other women
bringing with them a caliber of supporters
that brought the camp to a place of family.
Upon arriving the first day we were strangers...
We then sent our loved ones up the mountain
with prayers and honouring
and we became community.
Then after the first night
of our loved ones
on the mountain
and with raw emotions running high
we became family.
My week spent in this exceptional place
for this extraordinary event was filled with so much sacred.
When one is in continual ceremony for 5 days
encounters run deep and meaningful
small talk is non-existant
and honesty is worn like casual clothing.
I witnessed my own sons rite of passage
as he found his own tribe mates
and with that new connection
offered an elder tobacco so the kids could expereince
a sweat lodge, just for them.
I watched from afar as he tended fire
and handled the stones
for the sacred ceremony...
I noticed how after the first night
her would not sit with me again in the TeePee.
But sat comfortable on his own
in the circle
listening to the wisdom that was shared with all.
I watched him laugh and burst with joy
in a place that on the first day
he told me he did not belong...
I spent time alone...in tearfilled prayer
under a juniper tree
with my feet on sacred ground...
so moved I was with gratitude
for being where I was
living this life
and living it awake.
There was special moments
and words shared with brothers
and sisters
Some new
some like old friends of a past
long before this life began.
But like I said earlier
some of these things
are too sacred to put to words
and those who I stood with
know what it is I say
not in way of exclusion
but by way of honouring
the deep magic that was shared.
I will say this
we, as a people, are good.
When we come together
because of Love...
even while, maybe not fully understanding,
but showing up anyways,
great things happen.
I witnessed many different peoples
coming together from many different walks
and uniting under a banner of
Love and Honouring
for someone dear.
And together we held each other;
Supported each other
Listened to each other
Stood by each other
Ate together
Prayed together
Sweated together
Burned together
all for Love.
We all felt it.
We all knew it.
And we all wondered how we could bring it back with us
how to bring this kind of magic
back into a world
where we are told magic is not real...
Well I believe Love to be magic
and living from that place
expands out an energy from each of us
an energy that causes change
Maybe we will never see the influence
of our Love on another...
but I ask you...is that that point?
What is we expand this energy out as a way of life
not for results
but because it is a life style we choose.
My sisters spent their 4 days on the mountain...
without food or water
encountering deeply The Great Mystery
feeling Mother Earth as she held them
and looking up to Father Sky as he watched over them...
Each of them coming back with Spirit Eyes,
forever changed...
as I know is was for many of us in camp
forever changed
by this sacred experience we shared.
*
Today is my dads birthday
he would have been 86
16 years ago cancer claimed him
after 4 different encounters.
This day remindes me of the power we have
on affecting other lives by our actions...
by our expanding or withholding of Love...
Our story was not one that had a happy ending
my dad died angry with me
and I was angry with him...
there was no resolution
no beautiful final words
and it is that which I grieve
the loss of redemption
the loss of truth and honesty
the loss of cracked hearts
and broken tears
the loss of a chance to expand
and make a difference...
Never underestimate the affect you have on another
If your heart has the desire to say something
say it
Look that person deep in the eye
open your heart
dare to connect
we are all scared...and we are all sacred
so do it anyways
so do it anyways
the moment is all we have
and it matters
as it is
with all that is sacred...
Love and Light
