Finding Home...

On every account

this summer was about Home 

It was not something I had planned...

all but the part of going back to my home town

the one I grew up in

the one that held me, mounded me, gave birth to me

until I left at 16...

that part was in the plans

as it was the place my neice,

who also grew up there,

decided to get married.

the first night on the road to Smothers, we slept in a truck pull out....half way to our destination

As the time grew closer to summer

and the reality of "going Home"

grew brighter

I became well aware on the importance

this pilgrimage back was for me.

I had not been "home" for 12 years

and those 12 years (plus 2)

had been some of the most important years

I have lived thus far.

And somehow I knew
that going back to where it began
in my new skin
was going to be important...
I did not know how
or what it would look like
but I knew
something was going to happen
within...

Hudson Bay Mountain....

And so
because my niece fell deeply, madly, truly in love
with her high school sweet heart
my summer of Finding Home
came to be...

my awesome brother with one of his beautiful daughters...

Summer is not my season
my favorite season begins now
when the Earth begins her descent back into herself
when things begin to die away and hibernate.
Even so
I stepped into summer
with my arms wide open
for whatever she had to bring me;
And her plan was to
bring me Home.

My heart was seared by that which I love
My skin caress with the greatness of possibility
I was tested to see
just how much upheaval I could take....
(that would be in the form of renovations)
and I was challenged to look at who I was
and whether or not I needed to defend that.

a day visit to the fossil beds...

I Loved Deeply

Held my children's hands in their times of need
Guided them with deep Mother Earth Love
and set them free on the wings of Father Sky
I cared for my husband...
doing for him those things I knew made his life
just that much better
I nurtured our connection
cared for our friendship
and fell in love once again
with his exceptional soul.

I celebrated the women in my life

Those from my inner world

and those from my outer world

and I swam in gratitude

for those who had left over the years

and the teachings their leaving brought me.

Twin Falls....a place where a piece of my heart dwells...

I was always one who held on tight to relationsips

almost like a hoarder

finding my worth in those around me
and living in the concept of lack
that if a relationship ended
there would be nothing to replace it with.

But this no longer is the way for me

My worth is found in a place

within my own being

A Sacred place where Divinity lives

a Home for my Spirit

when it is not flying through the heavens

a Home for my Soul

where it gathers strength and knowing.

This all happening

before I even

left...

protesting a pipe line planned to be torn into the fabric of the pristine untouched wilderness of the north

So when I did begin the the pilgrimage

back home...

back to a land of rich first nations blood

to the place of the Raven Clan, The Frog Clan, The Wolf Clan

just to name a few...

I was already on my way.

I drank it in 
as if it were life giving waters
This place was the dirt in my skin
the leaves in my hair
the tone of my voice.
And to share it with the ones I love
a gift.

One morning
I took the time
to spend time with those who had gone
to the next life.
A sacred morning it was
I grieved for the old
I wept for the young
a cleansing for my being
as I walked through the aisles of head stones
seeking those I loved
finding those I knew....
*
And there was the family and friends...

The Fall Fair was happening when we were there a big event in August, bringing many visitors from the neighbouring towns. This was a huge childhood staple....lol....to be walking the midway with my husband in youngest was surreal to say the least!

I was reminded that though there was much struggle

much confusion

much walking with the deep feeling of being lost

there was an "idealic" aspect to a childhood

surrounded by so much family.

A

We were children of imigrants

my many cousins and I

6 siblings immigrating to the same small town

while the remaining 8 remained

in the old country

along with the parents.

my "big boy" youngest, contemplating his first ride on the Zipper...the best ride the midway has to offer

We all grew up together

enjoying Rockwell style Christmas'

in the deep snow of the north

on the vast farm lands

and in the mountains high.

There was a family reunion while we were there...
And in each of their eyes
I saw my own reflection...
not because I look like them
because I don't, I am adopted
It was more about me seeing
 how they saw me
how they knew me
and in those eyes
I found Home.

I was reminded of who I was

I was welcomed back into the village

in which I grew up in.

I was 
because they were.

Many stories were remembered
Many seasons given homage to
and Witness paid to that which had faded.
 *
Home
a place that houses the reflection of self...
that is what the summer gave to me
and continues to do....

What did this summer bring you
my lovelies?

Love and Light