all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Finding Home...

On every account
this summer was about Home 
It was not something I had planned...
all but the part of going back to my home town
the one I grew up in
the one that held me, mounded me, gave birth to me
until I left at 16...
that part was in the plans
as it was the place my neice,
who also grew up there,
decided to get married.

the first night on the road to Smothers, we slept in a truck pull out....half way to our destination
As the time grew closer to summer
and the reality of "going Home"
grew brighter
I became well aware on the importance
this pilgrimage back was for me.
I had not been "home" for 12 years
and those 12 years (plus 2)
had been some of the most important years
I have lived thus far.

And somehow I knew
that going back to where it began
in my new skin
was going to be important...
I did not know how
or what it would look like
but I knew
something was going to happen
Hudson Bay Mountain....
And so
because my niece fell deeply, madly, truly in love
with her high school sweet heart
my summer of Finding Home
came to be...

my awesome brother with one of his beautiful daughters...
Summer is not my season
my favorite season begins now
when the Earth begins her descent back into herself
when things begin to die away and hibernate.
Even so
I stepped into summer
with my arms wide open
for whatever she had to bring me;
And her plan was to
bring me Home.

My heart was seared by that which I love
My skin caress with the greatness of possibility
I was tested to see
just how much upheaval I could take....
(that would be in the form of renovations)
and I was challenged to look at who I was
and whether or not I needed to defend that.

a day visit to the fossil beds...
I Loved Deeply
Held my children's hands in their times of need
Guided them with deep Mother Earth Love
and set them free on the wings of Father Sky
I cared for my husband...
doing for him those things I knew made his life
just that much better
I nurtured our connection
cared for our friendship
and fell in love once again
with his exceptional soul.

I celebrated the women in my life
Those from my inner world
and those from my outer world
and I swam in gratitude
for those who had left over the years
and the teachings their leaving brought me.
Twin Falls....a place where a piece of my heart dwells...
I was always one who held on tight to relationsips
almost like a hoarder
finding my worth in those around me
and living in the concept of lack
that if a relationship ended
there would be nothing to replace it with.
But this no longer is the way for me
My worth is found in a place
within my own being
A Sacred place where Divinity lives
a Home for my Spirit
when it is not flying through the heavens
a Home for my Soul
where it gathers strength and knowing.

This all happening
before I even

protesting a pipe line planned to be torn into the fabric of the pristine untouched wilderness of the north
So when I did begin the the pilgrimage
back home...
back to a land of rich first nations blood
to the place of the Raven Clan, The Frog Clan, The Wolf Clan
just to name a few...

I was already on my way.

I drank it in 
as if it were life giving waters
This place was the dirt in my skin
the leaves in my hair
the tone of my voice.
And to share it with the ones I love
a gift.

One morning
I took the time
to spend time with those who had gone
to the next life.
A sacred morning it was
I grieved for the old
I wept for the young
a cleansing for my being
as I walked through the aisles of head stones
seeking those I loved
finding those I knew....
And there was the family and friends...
The Fall Fair was happening when we were there a big event in August, bringing many visitors from the neighbouring towns. This was a huge childhood be walking the midway with my husband in youngest was surreal to say the least!
I was reminded that though there was much struggle
much confusion
much walking with the deep feeling of being lost
there was an "idealic" aspect to a childhood
surrounded by so much family.


We were children of imigrants
my many cousins and I
6 siblings immigrating to the same small town
while the remaining 8 remained
in the old country
along with the parents.

my "big boy" youngest, contemplating his first ride on the Zipper...the best ride the midway has to offer
We all grew up together
enjoying Rockwell style Christmas'
in the deep snow of the north
on the vast farm lands
and in the mountains high.

There was a family reunion while we were there...
And in each of their eyes
I saw my own reflection...
not because I look like them
because I don't, I am adopted
It was more about me seeing
 how they saw me
how they knew me
and in those eyes
I found Home.

I was reminded of who I was
I was welcomed back into the village
in which I grew up in.
I was 
because they were.

Many stories were remembered
Many seasons given homage to
and Witness paid to that which had faded.
a place that houses the reflection of self...
that is what the summer gave to me
and continues to do....

What did this summer bring you
my lovelies?

Love and Light


  1. I wish everyone would find their way home. There is nothing like it. This is absolutely beautiful and deep and the gravestones touched me so profoundly because of the work that I do. I needed this post to feel the ground under my feet. Thank you for always honestly and deeply sharing this amazing journey of yours. xoxo

    1. sometimes the journey takes was for me
      glad to bring you to grounding sister
      it is always my hope that the images I capture stir something in the soul of those who see them

      love and light

    i knew i missed your presence "here" for a reason.
    every photo.
    every word.
    especially the one of your boy and his happy hopping dog. [smile]

    i love how you describe autumn. yes. i love her, too. for the reasons you stated.

    *love* to you, dear sister.

    1. ahhhhh Marie
      you are a dear!
      thank you for loving my is my heart

      that golden dog is actually my cousins, the black dog is ours...they became fast friends though...the three of them

      love and light to you too sister of the north!

  3. I'm an autumn girl too Cat!
    I love how your summer story spills onto the page,
    your authenticity...
    the truth about 'ending relationships and
    finding worth in self' struck a raw chord within!
    Thank you for visiting,
    I value our 'connection'...
    Hugs :~)xxx

    1. as do I my friend across the seas
      I thank you for your words

      love and light

  4. There's those totems again! Love!
    Home. it's where it all begins, isn't it?
    Sounds like healthy & happy reflection for you, lovely Minnie Driver look alike. ;)

    1. yes!
      the totems
      what a beautiful day that was

      you might just find them coming your way sweet friend!

      love and light

  5. Oh how I missed your words this summer and oh how worthy indeed you are. Loving these fresh posts and your strengthened voice!! Xo

    1. a deep bowed thank you...
      it is true
      there is something different
      a strengthened knowing
      the falling away of what is no longer needed
      every day a re-birth

      love you being here to brighten my world

      love and light♥

  6. Wow wow wow- the words, the photos, the findings.
    Home is something so amazing, yet so strange.
    I just visited home this summer also.
    It's bitter sweet, for me.

    Missed you!

    1. hello Miss Ashley!!!
      lovely to see you here

      I understand bitter sweet Ash
      that is how it was in the past for me....but I have grown and been through many transformations since my last time is the only way this trip could have been what it was....
      one day it might be different for you as well

      love and light

  7. Such a deep post you have written...feelings that cannot be expressed in words, you have expressed them somehow with your beautiful words...
    My home is a very special place for me..I go there once a year and whenever I go, I am filled with deep emotions and I cry on my way back while returning from my is situated in a small town, in the midst of lush greenery. But I live in the city...such a contrast ...
    Thank you for sharing this.
    And those photographs are breathtakingly beautiful ! Your home is indeed located in a beautiful place.

    1. your words are always so rich to me S
      I am always so honoured by your presence here
      thank you

      love and light

  8. Wow.
    Breath-taking photos and words. Inspiring.

    You know, we have booked for a holiday to the mother-land. Literally. I haven't been back to Samoa since I was 5. It has a piece of my heart that I can't explain - and of course, like you, because it's a wedding (my younger brother's) it will be a HUGE family affair. I wait in anticipation.

    Much love.

    1. a pilgrimage to the home land....sounds amazing Gail
      I look forward to your account...
      enjoy all the gifts awaiting you
      you are going to be embraced in so much love and acceptance

      love and light dear friend

  9. Oh Cat, I had chills reading about your summer journey. My family moved around when I was young, so I don't really have such a place, this kind of "home." But I can feel it so palpably in your words. Thank you for sharing!

  10. thank you Drucilla
    so glad it touched you so....

    love and light


Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light