Love and Light

Vulnerability....

2012-03-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

I used to live to be strong

Now

I live to be Free

You?

Love and Light

Could I be that brave...

2012-03-02T21:15:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching The Help

again

I enjoy movies on Friday....

as I watched the movie

I wondered

Could I be that brave?

Brave like the white girl

who goes against the grain of her

very cliquey social circle?

Or even more controversial

could I have been an out spoken

voice for the rights

of the African Americans?

Or what about the braveness of the African American maids

portrayed in this movie,

living in a hot bed of racial discrimination

Could I have held my dignity

while constantly being undermined?

They all make me think

Could I be that brave?

Then there is the surreal story about

Soraya M.

This movie stayed with me for days...

I had a hard time watching some of the scenes

I wepted for an unknown sister

as I watched her

life being taken from her

and her voice hold no power to defend

Could I have been brave like her...

to look at those who were about to stone me?

Could I have been brave as her aunt

who told the story, in secret,

to a stranger who came to the village?

Could I be that brave?

And how about Irena Sendler.

Irena Sendler is known for saving 2,500 Jewish children

by smuggling them out of the Jewish Ghetto

in Warsaw during World War II.

Her story, too, was made into a movie...

"The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler"

Courageous indeed!

There is a moment in the movie when Irena comes home

to tell her sick mother what it is she

is planning to do.

Of course her mother is scared for her daughters safety

and yet

she too must be brave because in her heart

she knows the words her daughters says

are true.

I'd like to think I could be as brave

as all these women

these

regular women

just like me

I'd like to think that I would be on the right side of things

I'd like to think

I'd be brave enough to follow True

and stand up against discrimination

I'd like to think....

that I could be that brave

but

truth is

I do not know

When faced with the conflict

the controversy

the uncertainty

the fear

Could I be that brave?

Love and Light

Learning to Live Alone....

2012-03-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

The other day my beautiful friend posted about this topic.

Her post is here.

(it will take you 2 minutes to read it...please do)

It is a great moment

So glad she wrote it down to share.

Those words

"Learning to Live Along"

clung to me

I'm not going through what my friend

and the woman in her story are going through

and yet

I am.

I did not realize it

until I read those four words.

I emailed her this:this season has been a season of learning to live alone for me...not

utilizing the relationships around me that I put much of myself into
learning to depend more on the gifts and strengths within myself...
during my childhood I put a lot of value on my friendships...
which, at the time, was what got me through,
but now those needs have changed
and in order to move forward I have had to
transform these thoughts of needing others around me to feel
safe, validated, love, accepted
it has been a time of finding that fulfillment within
myself...learning to live alone
I would have never looked at it that way if I had not read your
words...they were a real message for me, so thank you

Learning to Live Alone
Learning to Live in Freedom
Learning to be Good, with Me
what do those words say to you?

Love and Light

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

"I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it."

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments"

~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer
*thanks Glynis*

Quivering Daughters, by Hillary Mc Farland

2012-02-28T20:48:00.000-08:00

"Hope and Healing for the Daughter ofPatriarchy" is the tag line Hillary uses on her books haunting cover.

And that is exactly what this bookis...of place that offers hope and healing for those who have beenled down a confusing path of patriarchy and extreme religion.

Though this reader was not brought upin the same style of home life the author and hercontributers were, I was brought up in a very strict, traditionalreligious setting that did not leave alot of room to breathe...yet wewere singing “Breathe on me Breathe of God” during sunday service.

I could not understand how I could takein Gods Breathe of Life while I was being strangled in church doctrine.

My favourite thing about this book isthat it is the writers heart we see.

It is a book of great courage, braveryand a view of the Warrioress that lies within the author and thebrave women who shared their hearts.

Right away in the introduction Hillarywrites, “If you are not reflected in these pages, please extendgrace and pray for those who are.”pg xix

There are times in the book where thestory can really be about anyone of us as women, and then there aretimes when it gets really specific to the topic that Hillary ischallenging. I think some readers may find the biblical references alittle over whelming if they are not familiar with scripture. Thoughin saying that, it is completely acceptable and understandable thatHillary goes there as she is offering release to those tied so tightto biblical teachings and they need “biblical permission” toallow themselves release.

For those unfamiliar with this “world” this book is very revealing. As well it offers a challenge to learnunderstanding and grace for those trying to reconcile their spiritually abusive upbringing with a God of Love.

For those exposed to or living thistruth, this book is a gift, an opening, a helping hand to keep movingtowards their Truth.

Hillary carefully walks through the maze of unraveling and one gets the sense as the reader is brought to the Light of Truth so is the writer. She is vulnerable, thorough, and focused in her Faith. A true inspiration.
This book finds a permanent home on my book shelf...not every book does.

Thank you Hillary...I look forward to what comes next.
You are a treasure.

To purchase Hillary's book go here.

I leave you with a few of my favorite quotes:

" Sometimes things don't make sense at first. Sometimes we have to close our eyes and just keep moving forward, knowing in Whom we believe. He who calls and bids us Come." pg6

"Part of redefining normal for ourselves is also realizing the God has created each of us uniquely. Just as the horse and the turtle both reflect God's glory though they are wholly different, so each of us can reflect God's glory by being who we are with apology. for a long time I have thought I must hide my peace and mercy loving ways; their incarnation in my heart seems so different from others' and I have been told I am naive and foolish (oh, if you knew how I have struggled inside against those labels!) but the turtle gains no glory by attempting to be the horse and vice versa. i have learned to respond to the Holy Spirit's promptings in my own heart and follow down the path that is right for me. i pray each of you will do the same. it is a joyful beautiful thing." pg34

"It is a grave disservice to the heart, soul, body, and spirit of a woman when she is given the subtle message that the truth of her own pain is not as important as the reputation of the ones who inflict it." pg40

"Even Jesus knew the value of boundaries when He sent away multitudes of needy, desperate people so He could spend time alone in prayer." pg80

"Abuse is no only inflicting harm upon another person--it is also intentionally withholding things that are needed for life, health, and growth." pg101

"In fact, we need to stop trying to be good at all. Stop." pg153

"As you step into a the new day, the unknown, the way you do not know, which leads to life. Know that without a doubt that Jesus looks at you with love in His eyes and says. "Come. Rest. Have Courage. Take heart, Daughter, your faith has made you well." pg65

Love and Light

Monday Offering...Rise Up

2012-02-27T11:51:00.003-08:00

For you

my SoulSisters...

sung by my beautiful Sister of the Wood

Cathy AJ Hardy

When my heart was troubled

I went to the woods to pray

When my heart was troubled

I went to the woods to pray

in my darkness you sang to me

Woman, I have set you free

Rake off your chains of sorrow

Remove your veil of fear

Find your courage

Find your strength

Lift your voice, stand tall again and rise

I'm calling you to rise...

Rise up woman rise up

Rise up woman, rise

Rise up woman rise up

Rise up woman, rise

My heart was bent over

when I went to the woods to pray

My heart was bent over

when I went to the woods to pray

Suddenly down in my bones

My spirit heard you say

No more bending over

No more fear and shame....

rise up woman...

Throw off darkness

Throw of shame

throw off words of cruel blame

Listen to the whisper

of the One who calls you name

Rise up people rise up

Rise up people, rise

Rise up people rise up

Rise up people, rise

Rise up Sisters Rise up!

Love and Light

winners of the giveaway found here

Hanna House Follow-up & The Winners!!!

2012-02-26T15:51:00.000-08:00

This is phases one of Hanna House...

These are some of our prints in Hanna House...

the counsellors offices...

the administration office...

the doctors office...

the common areas...

the bedrooms

All those beautiful quilts were donated as well...

aren't they gorgeous?

People are good

it is unfortunate that we don't hear enough about that...

So with that project done

I want to announce the winners

to my Love-Print Giveaway

I of course employed my willing assistant...

He loves doing this....

A creative Soul Sister from SouLodge

Celina Wyss from Altered Muse

The funny and talented

Catherine Denton from Winged Writer

And last but not least
a first time commenter
Meg from Growing up

Thanks to all of you who entered
wish we could give you all one!

So if you three could email me
before Feb. 29th with your:
mailing address
the print you would like
and the size of print
(4x6,5x7,8x10)
that would be great.
(click above, on email me)

If anyone is interested in purchasing a print
you can convo me here.

I hope these prints will bless you as much
as I know they are blessing those at Hanna House.

Love and Light

Today I heard this....

2012-02-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

Already Gone
Songwriters: Kelly Clarkson, Ryan Tedder
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

I heard this song for the first time today.
(mmmmm what does that say about me???)

I realize, in this song, the singer is specifically

speaking about a relationship

But as I listened deeper to the lyrics

it made me think about

how there are many different things

in my life

I have had to let go of.

Things I could not keep for myself

Things that were not meant for me to begin with
or
Things that were not for my higher good

Sometimes we don't get the choice to let go...
but, OH!, how empowering is it when we do
when we make the decision
"This is no longer for me....I'm already gone"

I find the older I get the easier this becomes
I feel the Freedom in making these decisions for myself
knowing it is for my greater good
and maybe it is for someone else's great good as well.
It could be a simple as
an article of clothing
food that I eat
a practice that no longer is necessary
It could be as challenging as
the inner speak I have for myself
what I think when I look in the mirror
what I say to myself when I make a mistake
what I say about others to myself,
when they make a mistake.

*
Letting go
does not always have to bring with it the pain of loosing
Letting go
can bring
Release
Truth
Love
Light

Letting go
releases
Trust
Hope
Joy
Knowing
Peace

It is amazing the thoughts
that one song, in your day, can evoke.

What thoughts have walked with you today?

Love and Light

don't forget to enter my special "Love Print Giveaway"

winner to be announced Saturday

Monday Offering....

2012-02-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

"None of us will ever accomplish anything

excellent

commanding

except when she listens to the

whisper which is heard by her alone."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Love and Light

don't forget to enter my special "Love Print Giveaway"

The Wise Woman Within...

2012-02-18T20:27:00.000-08:00

What makes a Wise Woman?

Do we each have a Wise woman with in us?

and if so

How do we find her within ourselves?

open hands

open heart

looking up

Knowledge

Faith

Belief

in something more...

that is where you find Her

yes

She is in you too...

The Wise Woman has a knowing

that has been with Her since the beginning of time

memories of those who went before Her

and of those who are beyond Her

The Wise Woman laughs

The Wise Woman cries

The Wise Woman holds some thing close

She Trusts She Believes

She does not take things too seriously

(something she is teaching me right now)

She guides us through times of challenge

and comforts us when we feel alone and unsure

She offers Wisdom willingly,

beyond judgment

beyond opinion

She offers Love

She offers us

Grace

Objective thought

Clear Vision

Action,

without attachment to outcome

She is always waiting

ready for access

ready to give to us

restoration.

She is you

She is me

She is within each of us

As there is a Little Girl in all of us

So there is a Older Wiser Woman...

What do you do to access that Wise Woman within you?

Love and Light

journeying into the Northwith pixie campbell and my Sisters at SouLodge

don't forget to enter my special "Love Print Giveaway"

LOVE in a Giveaway...

2012-02-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

I take pictures

lots and lots of pictures

I would say I am a passionate amateur photographer

I remember the day my mom took my down to the Pharmasave for me to buy my first camera with the babysitting money I had saved up.

It was

"one of those days".

I love capturing

moments

images

emotions.

It is a form of therapy and creative expression for me.

ourperspective photography

Just over a year ago hubby and I decided

to open an Etsy Shop to sell our prints

we sold one

(thanks Gail)

Lots of admirers

not a lot of buyers

So after about a year

we closed shop.

I felt discouraged.

But as always Life brings you answers

in places you lest expect it.

...and Trust

needs to be more than a word.

Each of these stones were

hand picked

washed

and dried with love

Each word written with intent...

They were made for women

women like you and me

Brave Women

Cherished Women

on the journey to recovery.

A dear friends husband is a builder...

a builder of recovery centres

for men and women

who are walking out the journey of sobriety.

He just completed a brand new women's shelter

Hanna House

It is a beautiful facility.

But like most non profits

there is not a lot left over for the extras.

So my girlfriend asked if we could help...

What an honour.

43 of our images will grace the walks of Hanna House

Bringing an other wise clinical building

to something with Life

and Beauty on it's walls.

Two prints per bedroom.

Offices and Councellour rooms will hold

the mystery of the Earth

on their walls.

There is something about seeing your prints

enlarged and mounted.

It is like seeing them for the first time,

and as I stood alone in the room,

seeing these completed for the first time

tears filled my eyes

and I realized

this was why,

why we had taken these pictures...

these images

these inspirations

were taken for this exact purpose

For the women of Hanna House

that they might find healing in the beauty

of the Earth

that She might touch their hearts

to believe

once again

in Themselves

in Life

in Living Free...

What a moment

What a gift...

And speaking of gifts

we were busy bees yesterday

turning our collected pollen

into gifts of Love

My girlfriends heart led us to this place

again

with funds being tight

She decided to start a program in which

she supplies the women coming into treatment

with a gift bag of goodness

these bags include

journals

pens

socks

toiletries

lip balm

those inspiration stones

(pictured above)

hand made bookmarks

(with amazing inspiration messages)

Jill you are awesome!

hair accessories

an angel card

chocolate

candy

Some of the women come in from the street

and have next to nothing

Some come from a world where many people around them

probably had no idea

"how bad it had gotten"

Either way

they are all deserving

Deserving of feeling

Loved

Special

Valued

We poured

our Love

our Hope

our Prayers

into these bags

and with anonymous hands

blessed all who would receive these gifts

these humble gifts from us

that they would know

we are all the same

they are us

we are them.

I felt full.

I felt alive.

And with that lingering sense of

abundant Love

I offer to you

the lovelies who come to visit me here

the women I learn from

am inspired by

an opportunity to win one of those prints

that will be hanging in Hanna House

and maybe when you look at it

you will think of these women

and all women

who are trapped in the cycle of addiction.

I had my work mates pick our their favourites

I picked out two...

Enter by leaving a comment...
let me know your favourite
and I will choose a winner

or winners

at the end of next week

Love

it is a

grand

mysterious

fulfilling

thing

and its always the best

when given away

Love and Light

Love

2012-02-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

ABLUE PRINT FOR LOVE

Takeyour everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work,and walking-around life—and place it before Love as an offering.Embracing what Love does for you is the best thing you can do foryourself. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fitinto it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on Love.You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what Lovewants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture aroundyou, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, Love bringsthe best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Livethen, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important thatyou not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing thisgoodness to Love. No, Love brings it all to you. The only accurateway to understand ourselves is by what Love is and by what Love doesfor us, not by what we are and what we do for Love.

Inthis way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each partgets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.The body we're talking about is the body of Love. Each ofus finds our meaning and function as a part of this body. But as achopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, wouldwe? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellentlyformed and marvelously functioning parts in Love's body, let's justgo ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously orpridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to besomething we aren't.

Ifyou share, just share Love's Message, nothing else; if you help, justhelp, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if yougive encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; ifyou're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aidto people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond;if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritatedwith them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

Lovefrom the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life fromthe negative; hold on to good. Be good friends who lovedeeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Don'tburn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants ofLove, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the more. Help the needy; be inventive in hospitality.

Blessyour enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happyfriends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get alongwith each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don'tbe the great somebody.

Don'thit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, getalong with everybody. Don't insist

ongetting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging,"says Love. "I'll take care of it."

Lovetell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch,or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprisehim with goodness. Don't let negativity get the best of you; get thebest of negativity by doing good. (blue print found in the Bible)

So many good stuff in this message. Every time I read it I learn something else about Love.

Happy Day of Love

to you my lovelies!

Love and Light

Monday Offering....

2012-02-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

Today

I offer you

the

Brave One's.

Women

who in the last little while

have bared their souls

and touched my heart.

My Sister of Light-Shirley

A Sweet Angel named Angela

Keeper of the Sacred-Pixie

Beautiful Sacred Seeker Janae

The not so silent, Glynis

The go-to Kiwi Girl-Simoney

The Free-to-be-Honest~Amy

(click on their name and see what moved me)

Brave Ones.

You Inspire

You Lift Up

You Shine

thank you

"We are all just walking each other home"
~Ram Dass
(thank you Amy)

Love and Light

This Week...

2012-02-12T15:53:00.000-08:00

This week I offer thanks for abundance...

Fresh Fruit and Vegetables to eat
Nourishment for Heart and Soul

Fuel for Body

A Body that allows me

to move

to make

to celebrate

A Body

My Temple

This week I offers thanks for emotions

Emotions that are mine

Emotions that make me whole

Emotions that keep my blood warm

My skin moist

My eye open

My hands lifted up

This week I offers thanks for women

for sisters

for fellow travelers

Brave

Courageous Souls

Who run with their demons

Dance with their Angels

And Stand in Circle for others

This week I offer thanks for words

for expression

for creativity

for Life...

Tofino, British Columbia, Canada

Mother Ocean offers healing

in the water

We are meant to ebb and flow

All within me

once hard packed clay

Now emulsified

softened

transformed

Tofino, my place for Healing

Fluid

As I am meant to be

I flow with the tides

Hugging the shores

Dancing in the waves

Tofino...Heaven on Earth

I can be

I can walk on water

I can fly in the wind

My heart wide open

So wide it hurts

And I am alive

I'm alive

and I sing

I sing the Song of Songs

For my Maker

For my Lover

For my Self

I sing...

Love and Light

journeying into the West with pixie campbell and my Sisters at SouLodge

going home...

2012-02-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

3 1/2 years ago I gave a piece of my heart away

to a place of great beauty

and unthinkable tragedy

I traveled there with my son

and a group of 30 others

I set up shop and did what it is I do...

It was an adventure of a life time.

And now I am privileged

to be going back

to see my kids

and

the heart friends I had made.

It is amazing how connections can be made

even when the language does not flow

How the human spirit surpasses all words

and finds a place of common ground.

When we arrived

the eager Canadians,

the looks were uncertain

the trust unsure

but the Heart has a way of shining

and the Heart has a way of softening

and Love

Love always wins....

a beautiful country...

full of brokenness and laughter

a place that holds a piece of my heart

a people that holds a piece of my heart

I am blessed to be going back

5 weeks and counting

This video holds pictures I took of our kids that we care for at our center...

for more of this story you can go here

take the time to watch

to listen

and say a prayer

for all children

who live in poverty

Messages from The Journal...

2012-02-09T06:56:00.000-08:00

In life

there are many variables

and much uncertainty

This is a gift.

Our greatest challenge is to accept all those variables

and choose

one

then walk that out in

FAITH.

"The opposite of FAITH is not doubt,

but uncertainty."~Anne Lamett

So in

FAITH

we step out and choose a variable.

We have

FAITH

it is the one for us

If we find later that our choice

was not the one...

can

change

our

mind.

Love and Light my Lovelies

Winters Sweet Rewards

2012-02-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

out of Winter's Silence

comes sweetness

a transformation

only possible

when life lys dormant

when stillness

is all you hear

and silence

drowns out noise

"I will give you a new Heart

and put a new Spirit in you."

Mama whispered...

"I will remove from you,

your heart of stone....

...and I will give you a heart of flesh."

One that feels

One that hurts

One that lives

And they will call it beautiful

It will be sweet...

but not sickly sweet

it will be the kind of sweet

that lingers

in the recess of memories

The kind of sweet that makes you long for more

The kind of sweet that leaves you feeling

satisfied and pleased

Everyone who tastes this sweetness

will leave with a smile on their lips

a glimmer in their eye

and Hope in their own heart

and they will know

truly

All is possible...

Love and Light

(ps no I did not make that cake...it was a silent auction item we purchased at a fundraiser....

it was a beautiful to eat as it was to look at)

Monday Offerings...

2012-02-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

Today, I offer myself...my words...my whereabouts.
I have received a few lovely messages of love from some of you, my readers.
You have told me that you have noticed a shift.
You wonder if everything is alright.
You tell me you notice.
Thank you.

I thought today I would come from within the poems, the visuals, the journeys and stand before you all...just me.

When I made a declaration of Vulnerability I did not fully know or understand what would come with such a declaration. This is part of the mystery of our own power in our lives. But it has come and taken up residence in my life, in a way I could have never anticipated.

As I walk, with intention, this season of Winter my skin seems thin and fragile...at times it feels transparent, and oh so exposed. Vulnerable. I have found myself needing to be mindful of not spreading myself to thin, but to walk with great consciousness and knowing. A knowing I had no idea I had, but now, through this process, have discovered.

As all this is for a Greater Purpose.
All this is done with intent.
This is not a dream, for I am fully awake...feeling all that is happening and all that is going on within me. It is what I chose.

What is that Purpose?
The purpose is to find out exactly who I am beyond the flesh, beyond the body...but who I am in the Spirit, who I am in the Divine, who I am in God....and who the Spirit is in me, who the Divine is in me, who God is in me.

This is not an easy road.

That is the Truth.

Any Spiritual Leader, Seeker, Lover will tell you this road can be indeed be challenging....BUT
There are many on the road that offer help
There are many on the road that offer wisdom
There are many on the road that offer hope
There are many on the road that offer companionship
There are many on the road that offer medicine
There are many...we just have to practice seeing them.

The thing that makes it hard is our flesh...flesh does not like to hurt, feel uncomfortable, or be stretched...but we can help it through this process. We have the power within us to sooth its way through...we have been given that power, it is up to us to learn how to use it.

I think many of us stand at this road and have a strong desire to take it. But to the naked eye it looks barren and difficult, and those observations are true. But when you look again, and with every step, Love and Light teams all around. When you begin to train your eyes to see, your ears to hear, your nose to smell, your hands to touch; you become a part of something that comes from deep within you...something that was when The Great Magic built the earth and all that is within it.

So this is where I am.
Walking this road of great Spiritual Discovery...to fulfill my purpose, to be Vunerable, and it is good.

There is also exciting things in store for me that I am making plans for. Something I wonder about how it will fit into this season I am in right now, but something so close to my heart.
In 5 short weeks I leave for Medellin, Colombia, South America, to go back to the place I left a piece of my heart 31/2 years ago. But that my friends, is a post in itself....

I am well.
Winter is cold and still, but with it comes so much warmth and life.
My skin is thin, but I am full.
I am right where I need to be.
Thank you for your love and caring...it is a gift to me and I receive it with gratitude and honor.

Love and Light

And so I walk...

2012-02-04T20:08:00.000-08:00

And so I walk

The Happy Fool

With my trusted companion

And my back pack for tools

I will gather along the way.

I'm not sure of where I am going

And I am not sure of how I will get there

But I have Faith, and She reminds me...

that my Guide will show me the way.

Many Creatures do I meet

Each with something to give

I marvel at their beautify

Their Trust

Their Knowing

Their Faith

in that which is not seen with the naked eye

That which is only seen with the naked heart.

They Challenge me to move forward

To walk in Lands I do not know

To transform that which was once Familiar

To form new life inside my self

over and over and over again

To be re-born with out fear or resistance

To learn to be still

When stillness is required

To know when to push on through heavy resistance

to be Awake and pay Attention to detail

And then, in turn, be wise

to not chew too long on details given.

As I walk I feel those things that cling to me

Fear

Distrust

Certainty

They hold on to my inner most part

They believe they hold on for Life

But, I have come to know Different

And as I enter the Solitude of Stillness

I feel their loosened grip

Eagle and Hawk come to me

giving me eyes to see.

Winds now take what clings and transformation begins

Fear to Faith

Distrust to Trust

Certainty to Uncertainty

They do not go willingly

They don't want to be transformed

They cling to my rib cage

Not able to see, that what they cling to

is empty

It can not, them, sustain

It is just a body, a shell

That will eventually die and turn back to dust.

It is the Soul they need to come beside

It is Source to which they should cling

I must be still, be silent

So,

I quiet my mind

I enter Silence and Know

And here it is,

Mother Mary comes to me

speaking Her words of Wisdom

~ "LET IT BE" ~

copy write February4, 2012

Catherine Beerda Basso

Love and Light

journeying into the South with pixie campbell and my Sisters at SouLodge

(pictures taken on Thursday morning during a therapy walk

me, my puppy, my camera and the snow caped mountains at the bird reserve)

Dear January...

2012-01-31T07:24:00.000-08:00

I will be honest

I am not sad to see you go

You've pressed upon me this year

I've felt the shadows closing in

Emotions bubbled up my throat

often leaving it hard to breathe

I've felt the cold of your breath

on the back of my neck
The isolation that
Cold Winter can bring
I have, at times, felt lost in the abyss
of silence that would seem to steal my voice

You've walked me down
the Winter Path
and pulled me
through my Flesh
not to suffer,
but for Freedom

And there
you showed me Light
Your challenge I rose up to
and have been revealed in Truth
and
Discoveries otherwise
left unfound

New beginnings
have taken root
Unexpected visitors
have come to call
And again my heart
been opened wide

No, I am not sad
to see you go
Yet, I say thank you
for all you gave
the challenge
the darkness
the growing
the lightness
you

But mostly I thank you
for these two boys
As they really are
the best part of you
they lead me to be a better person
they hold a key to what I need

Thank you
and
Goodbye
'Til we meet again next year...

Monday Offering...the Winner

2012-01-30T05:16:00.000-08:00

as always I have help when picking a winner

we still do it the old fashion way

we like it like that

then I hand it over to him

his capable amazing hands

and the winner is

CAT

from catalina's cottage...

Happy Reading Cat!

I'll be sending it off to you asap!

now about loneliness...
go here

Love and Light

Storytelling...Part Two

2012-01-28T06:17:00.000-08:00

Part One found here

(Something sacred happened to me while running with the wolves, for now I keep that for myself and my sisters in the lodge...)

I have arrived at the lake. The Unicorn and Doves await me there...and something else...someone else is there. My dad.
My conscious self wants to see him in the familiar, but he has other plans. My dad has been gone from this life for 12 years. This past year I went through a huge shift of Forgiveness. Since then I am encountering him more and more, it is quite awesome. He comes to me now as a "close to" middle aged man, the same age as myself.
It is an emotional exchange with the Unicorn looking on. He tells me it was not his plan to become the father he became. That he too had plans to be something different, as we all do. ..."the best laid plans" he says....
He is sorry, he is crying, he is on his knees before me.
I am confused and try to lift him from his knees.
"I have forgiven you!" I tell him.
" I know this." He says to me, "but I wanted you to see me like this. I wanted you to see that I was young once too, with Hopes and Dreams. I wanted you to see the side of me you did not know."
Again I try to reassure him, but this is not at all what he needs. He has come for me, to give me this. He came to further that forgiveness, so I can be completely Free...so I can grow in Trust. he tells me this with his eyes, his heart.
I still feel a bit confused, and overwhelmed. The pouring out of this medicine, this gift is so huge...nothing I expected or even dreamed of.
I tell him I need him.
He gets up from his knees and says to me," No you don't."
He looks out to All that have gathered and he waves his hand out to show me.
The Unicorn
The Gizzly
The Doves
The Wolf Pack
He reminds me of the Sacred Encounter on the trails.
He says to me, " You never did....not in the way I wanted you to anyways, and that was hard for me."

There is a stirring among the animals, I feel it.
More life reveals itself around me...frogs start coming out of the lake.

Up above there is movement.
A Giffion comes down and I feel a host of birds that are about to follow.
This is where I ask Spirit to slow things down, that right now I need to keep it simple...there is so much inside me and I am not sure I can handle much more. I feel the thousands of birds of prey circling in the sky above, I don't look up, I don't see them, but I feel them...
and I hear them calling out.

For now,
just for now
what I have been given feels enough,
more than enough.

A fire was lit and we danced to the sound of the drum...the Native Indian Elder, the same from the trails, was there to provide the drum, the chant.
There was buffalo to eat which had been provided by the White Buffalo who made a brief appearance at the forests edge.
My sisters were there too, dancing with me around the fire...women from all aspects from my life...dancing and celebrating.
We danced and feasted into the night...
When it was time to leave, Ruger, my black-lab-pup, came to get me.
Tail wagging telling me with eyes, it was time to go.

I gave thanks
Followed the pup back up the hillside; back to the hole. This hole into which I entered as a child I now come out as an adult, myself, complete, fully who I am.

With puppy beside me, I came back to myself
back home
with a full heart
and much to ponder upon.

journeying into the East with pixie campbell and my wisewomen sisters at SouLodge

Love and Light
(ps don't forget to enter my book giveaway here)

StoryTelling...Part One

2012-01-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

The second house I lived in, as a child, was on 18th Avenue.
At the end of our short, partially gravelled road, was the town graveyard.
The going joke was that we lived on a dead end.

One might think that living by a cemetery would be creepy; but I spent alot of time there as a young girl. I loved walking up and down the rows, getting to know those who resided there. They were mysterious neighbors and I felt a sense of peace when I walk amongst them. The only place that slightly disturbed me was one area where the graves had sunken deep into the ground...and the children's section made me sad....I can still remember some of their names.
Part of the graveyard's perimeter gave way to a steep embankment that went down to a forest line and then
the industrial section of town. This made a great toboggan hill in the winter and a great hide out place in the summer. This is where my story begins.

I am there, on the back hill, walking the trails, when I see a hole in the side of the hill. I know this is the place I enter to start my journey. I am a child as I enter the hole.
Immediately my subconscious wants to know what is going on so it tries to take me some where familiar...

...but I resist. I have come to learn, I don't need familiar to feel safe. Both places flash before my eyes as if there is a battle of wills. But I want to learn new things, I want to embrace the part of me that is the "Trusting Fool" I want to be here, in a new space, and be okay with that. I find myself in a forest, rich and green. Trees tower above me and giant ferns grow all around me. The colours are alive.

The forest is still and at peace. The Great Magic is here.
I stand on a hill side and at the bottom of the hill I see a small sparkling lake into which a water fall is pouring into. And there beside the lake I see a white unicorn and above it 5 white doves fly in a circle.
I shake my head in disbelief..."Really?" I say out loud to whomever is listening.
I look again and now not only is the Unicorn and doves still there, I notice there is an arched rainbow over the waterfall.

(image found here)

I am feeling so much. I can hear the drums and they are calling me to run. But all I can think about is getting down to the lake, getting down to business, as I realize the lake is my destination.
Suddenly the Unicorn is there with me.
"Are you really here for me?" I ask
"Yes, I am. Now, go run and play." He nudges me with his nose to go and run in the trails.
Fun? Fun? I think to myself...but I have so many questions, I have come here with a purpose. I have medicine to gather, things to figure out.
But, of course He already knows all this and so much more.

The drums carry me and I run like the wind.

At this point I am an essence of myself and much too serious. I want to the full me, running. I want to feel the fullness of my person now. It takes some time, but it eventually comes to be me running through the trails...not an essence of me, not the child in me, but the whole of me running, running, running in complete freedom and joy.

I catch a glimpse of a Grizzly Bear watching me from the ferns, and a little while later I see a Wolf.

I still have a strong desire to get down to the lake, but the Unicorn tells me this my time to have run, to run free of all burdens, all that weighs on my heart, all that I insist on carrying around with me. And so I do. A smile is on my face and I feel a wonderful sense of lightness and freedom. I feel giddy.

(note: this is a brown bear, not a Grizzly)

Suddenly, the Grizzly is in my path way and he stops me in my tracks - not to frighten me but to give me medicine, to give me guidance. He tells me to Trust the Stillness, to Trust my strength. He is firm and direct with me, his medicine being of the outmost importance. And though he is firm, he is loving and kind...He pours into me for quite sometime.

After he is finished he releases me back to the drums - back to the forest and the running with the wind...and before I know it I am running with a pack of female Wolves.

They are beautiful, strong, intuitive and committed....committed to me. They are my pack, I belong to them. They know themselves, they know who they are and so it is with me in their presence. What they feel, I feel. I need not be afraid of what's inside me, and they challenge me in this. They push me to go deeper, run faster, keep going...and so we run...

I am not sure how much time passes, as the elder plays the drum, but eventually I find myself at the lake side. I am there with The Unicorn, the Doves...and someone I have been looking for......

journeying into the East with pixie campbell and my wisewomen sisters at SouLodge

(Stay tuned...as the journey continues)

Love and Light

(ps don't forget to enter my book giveaway here)